"I'm not happy anymore Chan! Can't you see that?!I want to be happy for you but i can't!" Kyungsoo's words me, i hurt all over. I felt everything rush into my head and then out and I couldn't think I couldn't breath, how did we come to this? When did everything turn to dust?
"All i want is to be with you but i cant be with you when you push me around! 'Not tonight Chan' and 'we can talk about this at another time' or 'i can't do this right now.' This is all i can hear and it hurts me too you know? I feel like you don't love me anymore and i know for a fact you don't love me like you used to i want to protect you and be your everything i want to make you smile but you aren't even trying." The words slipped out it was all the things I had kept in for the past couple months, everything I stuffed down that he never heard.
"If it's this hard for both of us why are we still doing this?" Kyungsoo asked, this time it was more than pain it was numb like I was bruised just enough all over I forgot how happiness was.
"Dont ask me that. God kyungsoo don't you ask me that. I'm trying! I'm fighting for us!" My voice was weak and he didn't understand any more, we're so wrapped up in all this I forgot what it was like, the times when we're silly and laughing. Were not who we once were.
Flashback
Xiumin and Chen played on the ice, they acted like children while the rest of them sat and watched, it was a cold day, Chan and kyungsoo thought it would be fun to ditch their lectures and go to the park because no one would be there and they could just go on a quiet walk, an idea soo came up with and his boyfriend followed but wherever they went their friends tended to follow.
Kyungsoo sat alone on a swing and watched the white puffs of hot air that escaped his mouth when he breathed. He imagined this was the appeal of smoking, the look, he hated smoking, Chan tried it in their senior year and kyungsoo ignored him until he stopped which wasn't that long because 'kyungsoo is more addicting than any substance' as his boyfriend tells it.
"C'Mon, lay keeps complaining that he's the only sane one and is begging for you." Suho said grabbing arm and trying to pull him to To the boys.
"I'll be over I'm just gunna um- get my extra jacket from the car." He lied and started walking in the direction he remembers they came from. He was passing the ice house,when Chan pulled him to the side of the building but covered his mouth before he could scream. D.O was the type to bite, so he did. "What the fuck your such a shithead sometimes Chan." His boyfriend said Chan was very confused at this reaction most of the time kyungsoo would just hit him lightly on the shoulder and take his food or something when he was mad.
"Damn, okay." Chan said walking away but smiled to himself when he thought of an idea that would make kyungsoo really mad.
He pulled the younger into a swift hug and dragged him out on to the ice by his hands. Kyungsoo stumbled and grabbed onto chanyeol and they both fell to the ground laughing . "You're so smooth." D.O laughed as Chan slipped trying to get up from the ice. "I know right. Thats how I landed this jem" He said leaning over and shuffling his boyfriends hair before putting his own hat on his head to cover his red ears.
He got up and reached a hand out which kyungsoo took. The taller boy started to skate a bit around the area, he was just wearing boots though. "C'mon babe, come skate with me" Kyungsoo shook his head and giggled into his mitten because Chan looked like a dork with his arms watering from side to side a concentrated silly look plastered onto his face. "You are the dorkiest person I have ever met, I don't know why i love you so much." Kyungsoo brought his covered hands right to his mouth immediately after saying the words.
He stopped his skating and stared his boyfriend down from a few feet away. "You- You what?" The younger boys face went red, even more red than it was from the cold weather. "I didn't say anything." Kyungsoo kept his mittens covering half of his face not daring to look at Chan. "Soo look at me." Chan walked to where the younger boy stood.
"It was an accident- it slipped out." The embarrassed boy spoke under chanyeols gaze.
"Do you mean it?"
"Yeah, yeah i do." Chan grabbed both of the shorter boys cheeks and brought his lips to kyungsoo's forehead.
"I love you too."
"Aweee" They heard jongdae and suho coo at the boys before they could kiss again.
"Get out! We were having a moment!" Chanyeol shoved the boys into the ice house and returned to his very own prince, but he just made an annoyed face and pulled Chan by his wrist up to the swings.
