boy in black {josh dun}

ten

"okay but why don't you sing?" i nudged josh repeatedly, sad because, though he played drums, you never heard his vocals in any song.

he shrugged, "i have bad social anxiety, singing wouldn't do me much good. plus, getting behind drums and banging them as hard as i can relieves a lot of that."

i nodded in understanding. also having social anxiety, i could see where he was coming from. i could never have that much confidence.

we kept listening to their songs. currently, their album vessel was playing. i was kind of glad that the songs were more upbeat than the twenty one pilots album.

"i think i like this one the best so far" i said, nodding my head to the beat of trees while josh smiled.

"this one is the best to play in concert" he commented.

somehow, i ended up in his lap while we listened to the rest of the album and continued on to blurryface.

he traced light figures on the fabric covering my hip while i played with some of his hair. cuddling like this was always on of my favorite things to do.

"you're a really really good drummer josh" i told him as we listened to a song called heavydirtysoul.

"thank you cara-bear" josh replied, pulling my body more into him.

"your music is also really fucking weird" i giggled and he lightly pushed me.

"tell that to tyler, he's the one who actually writes the music, i just make up the drumming parts."

"hey, what are you doing for christmas?" i asked him, sliding my elbows on both sides of his body to prop myself up so i could look at him.

he shrugged, "i'm not really sure actually. it's weird because this is the first year i can't actually spend with my family. they're flying to europe for the week of christmas and i need to save up again and everything, plus we have a concert the day before so i couldn't make it in time for christmas anyways. i mean, i could join tyler and jenna but they're gonna go to hang out with jenna's family for the day and i don't really wanna do that."

"does that make you kind of sad that you don't know where to go?" my head rested back on his chest and my fingers ran softly up and down his sides.

"yeah, i guess it does. i don't really like not knowing what i'm doing for special occasions and stuff, especially when i'm probably gonna do nothing" he replied.

an idea popped up into my head.

"well, i can't go visit my family because i'm working christmas eve morning and they're a good day and a half away, so i was just probably gonna stay home because i'm not much of a party person" i shrugged.

"mm" josh hummed as he looked up at the ceiling. "i mean, we could have our own little christmas since we're both staying home for the holidays?"

i smiled and propped myself up again, my forehead resting against his.

"yeah, i guess we could" i agreed.

he smile back at me. "cool. is it okay if i kiss you again?"

a few giggles escaped my mouth as i stared down at the man i was growing to love. "that'd be cool."

and with a song i couldn't remember the name of playing in the background, he leaned up and kissed me, his hands lightly gripping my arms to steady me.

our lips moved slowly and softly, way too caught up in the moment. this time, i took my time and didn't pull away so soon. i told myself not to be scared, and i really wasn't. because this was josh and i knew that he wouldn't ever try to hurt me like that. because not all men are monsters.

he pulled away so he could breathe but a second later i kissed him again, needing the feel of his lips on mine. a sense of serenity filled me and i felt content, knowing that someone cared.

he poured so much of his soul into one kiss as i breathed it in, almost like a vapor.

when we pulled away again, i placed a soft kiss on his cheekbone and resumed to tuck my head into his neck as a smile made its way upon my face.

-

"yes, just like that!"

"fuck!"

"josh!"

"i-i'm-"

"no! just keep going!"

"i, ugh, i can't!"

i rolled my eyes at him and took the bag of icing from his grip. he smiled as i started icing the rest of the cookies, hopping up on the counter and lightly swinging his legs.

"you're the biggest idiot ever" i said as i carefully made christmas trees on some of them. i switched colors and started doing candy canes.

josh chuckled. i didn't notice when he pulled out his phone and snapped a few candid pictures of me until my phone buzzed, making me put down the icing and check it.

we had followed each other on all social media earlier as we listened to his band's albums. now, i got a notification that said he tagged me in a photo with many other notifications following.

i looked back up at him, trying to look annoyed. however, when he smiled cheekily at me i couldn't help but to smile a little, too.

i pulled up the twitter app where it had an instagram link with his caption. the caption read:

'@joshuadun: baking cookies with my girl'

even though we weren't really dating, he still called me his girl, which implied that he wasn't seeing anyone else. that made my smile bigger and my cheeks to turn red. i bit down on my lip to try and contain it, but josh had already seen.

he hopped back off the counter and quickly kissed my nose. then, he went to stand behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder.

i set my phone back down and turned my head to the side so i faced him.

"you're the cheekiest idiot i know" i grinned.

"i know" josh smiled, pulling me tighter against him.

and if that wasn't true happiness, i don't know what was.