Where I Wanna Be

Red Walk and Shame

It's the night of the red carpet premier. I'm so nervous. I've been modeling, but this will be my first time publicly saying I'm in a relationship. I don't know what to expect out there. I'm wearing a red floor length dress that has silver diamonds on the top with red studded stilettos. My makeup and hair artists hooked me up. My hair is falling in curls and pinned to one side with a feathered bang. I have pin up eyeliner and evenly toned make up with ruby red lips. I look nice. Trey walks in; I see him in my full body length mirror. I turn and face him.

"You're beautiful," he says.

"Thank you," I say, looking down.

I notice that he looks good in an all black tux without a tie. You can see the caramel skin of his chest. You could just run your hands all over-

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asks.

I shake my head. "You look good," I say nonchalantly.

"Thanks. You ready?" he asks. I nod. He grabs my hand and we walk out to the limo.

It's spacious with only the two of us. The lights are dimmed with champagne on ice in the car.

"How you feel?" he asks, still holding my hand.

"Nervous," I admit.

"Why?" he asks.

"Well, I'm not in the best predicament right now. With you and August and me being clearly pregnant. People are going to question and-"

"Don't worry about that," he says, cutting me off. "They don't know our situation, and who's going to tell them?"

I let that sink in. Then I feel him squeeze my hand.

"Don't let that ruin your night. Focus on us and who you'll meet," he says.

I make myself smile and do as he says.

"So how did you start modeling anyway? When I met you, you weren't a model," he asks.

"I went to school for modeling and-"

"Really, where?"

"UCLA. I was paying off my college debt as a bartender, met August, a publicist wanted to hear our story," I see Trey flinch when I said 'our story' but keep going. "Someone liked my picture and here I am."

We talk some more about our lives and I feel comfortable and forget where we're going. That is until we stopped in front of the red carpet.

"We're here," the driver says.

Trey looks at me and says I'm going to be fine but my heart is pounding in my ears. He gets out first and reaches in for my hand. I put mine in his, step out, and smile. Cameras flash. Lights are every where, blinding me but I won't let my face show it. We pose for pictures, and Trey gives some signatures. I pose for some more pictures. Not many people know me sooo it was awkward. I look to my right and have to do a double take. I see August but Camille's on his arm. Why is she here? She's supposed to be with Hernando. August turns and looks at me. I can't see his eyes through his black shades. Him and Camille match with gold and silver. She looks at me and flashes a smile, wrapping her arm around August's waist. I give a 'I don't give a fuck' face before feeling Trey's hand lightly touch my waist. We smile and pose for the camera. Interviews start and I watch, not wanting to be there anymore.

"Aaliyah, right?" a reporter asks.

"Yes?" I say, surprised and glad to get some recognition.

"You're with Trey Songz. It's come to my attention that you have a lump on your tummy. Myself and the fans are dying to know, is it Trey's? Or is it August Alsina's? I saw you two locking eyes. No doubt you have history-" she gets cut off by Trey.

"Excuse me," he says, placing an arm around me. "Me and my girl are going to go inside now."

We walk off and I'm so relieved that he pulled me away from that woman. Who knows what I would've said, or done?

The AMAs go on. I enjoy it. The music was nice, but the audience is the most interesting part. These people are funny. It ended and we go to an after party. I meet several people; even some from modeling agencies. It was after talking to a photographer fron Vogue that Aug walked up to me.

"I thought I would bring you here," he says, hands in his pockets. Then he licks his lips.

"Boy no," I say, turning my back on him.

"What? You don't miss me?" he asks, breathing on my neck.

"No and go back to your date," I tell him.

"So this what this about? What if I told you she means nothing to me?" he asks, tilting his head to the side.

"I wouldn't give a fuck," I say and mean it.

"Okay, ma. I see what you on. Call me when you want something real," he says about to walk away.

"I guess I'll never call you," I say and walk away to find Trey.

When I do, I see him laughing with a group of females. One has her hand on his arm. I raise my eyebrow. He sees me, says something to the one with her hand on him, and walks over to me. My eyes stay on her as she lustfully watches Trey walk away.

"Who's she?" I ask as soon as he reaches me.

"A friend. She's a model," he says.

I could see why. She has the body for one, catlike brown eyes, and inky black hair.

"You sure she just a friend? She hasn't stopped looking at you since you left her side," I say, getting a drink before remembering I couldn't drink it and just look at it.

"Look at me," he says, turning me towards him. I look him in the eye. "You're the only one I want. There's nothing going on with that girl."

I nod in understanding and smile, but, from the corner of my eye, I see the girl stomp off. I shrug it off. If he says it's nothing, that's what it is.

The rest of the night is good. Trey takes me home and I invite him in.

"I have something for you," I say, walking to my room and he follows.

I push him back. "Nothing that, nasty."

I grab his gift and walk back.

"Here," I say, handing him his present.

"What is it?" he asks, shaking the box.

"Open it and find out."

He does and pulls out the black gold cufflinks that I brought him.

"Happy birthday," I say.

He smiles, and it warms my heart to see he likes it.

"Thank you," he says, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

I place my hands on his sides and look up at him. I had nothing to say. I just felt good with him. That spoke louder than words. So we stood like that until he had to go. It hurt to see him leave, but I couldn't ask him to stay.

{His birthday was 11/28; this is a late update, but Happy belated birthday to Trey!}

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