Where I Wanna Be

Burning Desire

"I don't want nobody more than  / My baby, dear, this feeling here can't be described, but ima try / Sweat dripping off of your body onto mine, and  there ain't nothing.. ain't nothing better than when I'm inside" Trey Songz Inside

 "Tell me what you want," he whispers in my ear, pressed against me while my back is on the wall.

 I don't want to tell him when I can show him. I kiss him and wrap my arms around his waist, bringing him closer.

"You can't have me until you tell me what you want," he says, massaging my waist. 

How am I supposed to talk when he's teasing me? 

I walk him to the bed, and start to say "August, I w-" when someone starts calling my name.

I wake up in the bed next to Nando. That was a dream? Hmm.

"What you want?" I ask, turning over trying to go back to sleep.

"You were moaning," he says, and I think back to my would've-been- wet dream, "and saying my name," he finishes.

I release a breath I didn't know I was holding, and then I think about what he just said. Moaning his name? Where that come from?

"You want me to make your dream come true?' he asks, placing his hand on my side because my back is to him.

"But you're much better than my dream guy," I say without thinking facing him.

His eyebrow raises.

"Well, if it wasn't me, let me give you reasons to wish it was" He says, moving on top of me.

His body heat feels good and his lips better once they start roaming my body. He works his mouth back up to mine, and the kiss is hungry. I taste everything he wants, how aimed and ready he is to please me.  His hands are like a magician's, making place appear and deliver pleasure I didn't know I could receive from a touch.

I wrap my leg around his waist, bringing us closer as he loses his shirt. I instantly start running my hands on every inch of exposed skin and moving to get closer to him. Soon the only thing separating us is under garments. I want him for the first time ever. 

Is it the whole marriage thing or just his naked  body? Either way it's him. He's mine. Might as well mark my territory, and that's what I did in every way until the soon rose, and I knocked out. 

8 hours later

I wake up to an empty, cold bed. Was not expecting that. Besides that, I felt good. I go take a shower and throw on a blue strapless dress with some sandals and go because it's 2 p.m, and I need to get out the crib.

"Where you going?" Nando asks, coming from behind the kitchen counter in black and blue boxer. Sexy.

"You weren't in bed," I say, enjoying the view. 

"Yeah, I got in the shower, ate, and watched t.v"

"And wearing boxer?"

"Just in case you want another round," he comes closer. How after last night do I still want him? Lust is such a powerful emotion.

"Rain check," I say, kissing him on the cheek and leaving before he could ask where I'm going again.

 After I got my mani and petti, I get a text from my Micahel (Tyga y'all) asking me to meet up with him.

I meet up him at North Riverside.

I walk in had to do a double take. He looks too fine standing by the food court. This could not be the little Mikey I met in Cali when I was in high school. 

He spots me and we sit down.

"What you been up to, ma?" he asks.

"Nothing. Same old shit just a different toilet," I reply.

"I guess that ring on your finger means you found a new stall, huh" he says, taking my hand and exmining the ring Nando gave me.

I forgot I had it on even though I just went to get my nails done. I guess I never took it off after trying it on earlier.

"You weren't even gone tell a nigga. I thought we was closer than that," he says, dropping my hand.

"You know it's not even like that,"

"How is it then?" he says fast.

I was shocked. Why he so serious though?

"You made it. You don't need people like me no more," I say, taking a swig of my slurpee.

"What you mean?"

"You know what I mean. People like me."

"You mean people I came u with?"

I don't say nothing because I only knew him for two weeks in Cali when I spent time at UCLA. We kept in touch, saw eachother over the years, talked, but he got new friends.

"You know you forever gone be my girl no matter how famous I get," he says, looking around, "on that note, I'm gone go before someody recognizes me. You got my number, short. " 

And he was gone.

 By the time I go t back home, I had to change for work. When I got there, I didn't see Tea and August. Thank God. But Camile kept running her mouth about them until they showed up and ruined my night. This time, August looked bored and came sat at the bar without Tea. 

I pour his drink and kept it moving. 

"You can't speak now?" he says.

I act like I don't know who he's talking to.

"Guess I shouldn't have messed with your sister,"

"Step sister," I correct

"Whatever. You know I only come here for you right? All these hoes in here change every night, but you don't" he says.

I ignore him and arrange bottles.

"No matter what you do, I know your man ain't making you happy. He can't give you what I can. I knew it when we met, I know it now, and you know it that's why you scared to look at me," he says.

"I ain't scared of nothing," I turn around and meet his eyes with nothing.

 He looks at me with eyes that show so much but are hard to read. 

"I know you want me. Give me a night, and see if you can admit it" he says.

He just don't  get it. I. Do. Not. Want. Him! Damn!

"I'm marrying him," I blurt.

He looks at me for a minute then says, "you lying"

I show him the ring, and he grabs my hand and looks at it, dumbfounded.

"You gone marry him wishing he was me?"

I can't take his shit no more. He ain't a sex god sent down from Heaven to give women all the pleasure they need, He came in here, had me catching feeling, messed with Tea, and had the nerver to tell me I wish Nando was him.

"Yo, listen, you ain't shit special. You have all this money, but yet you can't find a bitch that is willing to do more than open her legs for you each not. Not that any of them hoes is coming back for seconds. All you got is your money but look where you at. In Chi-rack, in a club, stalking a girl who don't want you. You think I wish Nando was you? Naw, you wishing Tea was me. Now do me a favor and take your pussy else where because there's no reason for you to be here." 

After I say that, I turn away. A dream is just I dream. I might have dreamt I wanted him. But, sadly, dreams don't come true.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Just a filler, thanks for reading.