That Story By An Author That Made This Annoyingly & Unnecessary Long Title

The Thing About Writing (for me at least)

idk why im writing this or if anyone is even gonna read but imma do this anyway!!!

SO the thing about writing with me is... it's not always there? Like I only started writing when I was in a really bad place, which is always around end of Fall and Winter. It's always happened ever since 2012 so I've about gotten used to it. Around this period of time, it's when I get most of my inspiration. i get all my ideas and everything during this time. That's when I write. Once it ends, my inspiration is gone and I don't even want to write anymore until Fall comes again and I'm sad again.

That's weird right it's not just me?? Like I'm always pretty happy during Spring/Summer so idk if i should get this checked out or not.... like. Seasonal depression is a thing but i dont want to self diagnose myself and make it a bigger thing then it really is ya know? ugh idk but ive just been really fucking sad lately and i cant shake this shit off and its just constantly nagging at me. Like im trying to enjoy myself but then its like "hey remember that thing that happened between you and your friend yeah haha sucks" and then im like :///

Its never been this bad before?? Like now I notice its there and now it wont go away. Im sad now for no reason at all other than having this really bad mood and its just so tiring.

I feel like that's also why I get into so many bands/shows or fandoms in general because I need that escape from my actual life, I think it's the same with writing. Idk im just really emo rn and this book has suddenly turned into a fucking diary, sorry.

well whatever

i love zhang yixing

good day