Dreaming || Malum

S I X

All Michael saw was red.He felt heat on his face.Pain.He felt pain.

He couldn't really see what was going on,stumbling his way off stage with a towel against his face.

All of a sudden he was running.People were shouting.Asking questions.The towel was ripped away from his face causing him to scream out and cover his face.

All of a sudden a wet towel was placed on it.But then his mind went blank.

The anxiety kicked in,his throat closing up.Deep breaths made their way out of his mouth.

"Michael?Michael we need to know if you're okay" but he didn't here the paramedic.

His mind was a swirling haze,all
He was able to see was red.

"He's gone into shock we need to get him to a hospital"

there was somebody holding his hand.He registered that and gripped it tightly.

It was Calum,tears streaming down his face at the state of his best friend.His love.

As they arrived at the hospital in the ambulance Michael was ripped away from Calum causing him to start screaming.

"he needs to calm down"A nurse spoke as he was rushed to a room.

But all of a sudden the room went quiet.Michael had collapsed out of exhaustion,lack of food,shock.

-

Luke called him a fuck up after that .Maybe he added a few bruises to his body.Maybe Michael collapsed again.Maybe Luke dug his nails into his injured face gripping it in his hand.

Michael ran a hand over his still scarred face.He remembered the pain Luke caused.mentally and physically.

Michael looked at the name permanently engraved in his skin.It brought butterflies to his stomach.

He smiled,a sick smile,enjoying the pain of his nails reopening the cut.He enjoyed the blood dripping down to the floor.

"Oh Michael"John Feldman sighed.He was visiting All Time Low in his free time.

It broke his heart to see Michael the way he was.He always knew there was something wrong,clear tension between him and Luke.

It also wasn't hard to miss the mysterious bruises appearing on his body,and his weak spells where he would be recording and suddenly stop only to hold his head.

He helped Michael up,cleaning his cuts,wrapping them before bringing him into his arms.

"you're not alone"He simply spoke.He may have appeared calm but inside he was livid.

He couldn't believe that the band would kick him out.He started the band.He got all of them to put their faith into him to keep going with the band.He was the lead guitarist.He wrote most of the songs.the band wasn't the same without him.

He helped Michael out of the bathroom and into the dressing room,noticing how the buy stumbled and gripped tightly on to his arm.

"come on,we have to get some food In to you"He sat Michael down on the couch walking over to the table of food before making a simple ham sandwich.

He placed it on Michael's lap,sighing slightly at the pleading look Michael gave him with his dead eyes.

"You have to Mikey"He crouched down I front of him,smiling as he gently picked up the sandwich nibbling on it.

"You're eating?"A sweaty alex smiled brightly.

-

"I think it would really help him if he came to stay with me.Just maybe a break from everything will help him.I'll be able to take care of him and make sure he's eating and not hurting himself"

Alex nodded agreeing.Michael was struggling especially not having anyone there all the time with him.

"Okay"

-

Michael shakily sat down on the edge of the bed looking up at John.He had fear and pain in his eyes.

"You're only staying here for a little bit,okay?You'll be back with them in no time"He placed his bag on the ground.

But to be honest Michael didn't want to be anywhere but Calum's arms.

He was struggling to live.He missed his...old life?The one where it was just him and his three best friends...well two,their instruments and their fans.What happened?

He was to blame for everything though.Wasnt he?it was his fault for being ugly,fat,worthless,ruining the band,being born.

He deserved everything he has got.The punches.The hate.The pain.Everything.

"Mikey,come back to me"John snapped his fingers I front of his face making him flinch.

"How about we get you to sleep yeah?"He helped Michael undress,keeping his sweater on and climb into the bed.

"if you need me just press this button and it will page my phone"He handed him a small remote.

"try sleep"he whispered kissing his head before leaving the room.

Michael was left in the dark room alone.Did he sleep?Nope

-

"The only reason I'm helping you is because Michael is sitting her crying his eyes out because he thinks the band won't work"And with that he hung up the phone

Michael stood there,swimming in a sweater much too big for him.He offered John a notebook that was in his hand.

He took it for him with raised eyebrows before opening it up and gasping.It was his private song book that he has had for years

"What are you implying?"He asked.Michael just pointed at the phone.

it dawned on him.He wanted him to give the notebook to the boys.What an angel.After everything they did he still wants to help them.

"Michael.You're not giving away these songs.They're amazing and if you give them away you won't get any credit.You can't let them use you again"He smiled with pity,frowning once seeing tears gather in the boy's eyes

He didn't want the band to end.Maybe he wasn't in it but they were still living his dream.Even though he couldn't didn't meant they couldn't.He shoved the book harder into Feldy's grip trying to get him to agree.

"I'm sorry ,Mikey,not happening"Michael let out a Sob just falling to his knees,eventually just lying on the ground. 

"They are not stealing your songs away from you."

-
Like I said fast time skips.So malum soon