I'm trying to stop cutting. I haven't done it since the 10th. The longest I have gone was 7 days. I'm wanting to stop but it is really really hard. Music and reading are my only escapes.
When I moved to where I live now I learned to silently cry so my parents wouldn't hear me. During the day they would ask what's wrong and I refused to tell the truth. I always said it was nothing or that I was just thinking or that I was in lala land. They don't see through it that I'm telling a lie. Yesterday I figured out that I was denied for counseling but that means im supposed to be getting better but i never told my counseler that I cut. She knows that I used to burn.
I have made it this far and at times I do want to die but I have fought everything. I was called a nasty whore and a crazy cutting suicidal bitch on Monday by this one dude and I really wanted to cut that night but I didn't I fought the urge to do it. I had my razor in my hand but instead of cutting I threw it on my bed. I walked out of my room and went outside to calm down.
When I calmed down enough to touch the razor, I threw it away. I am slowly helping myself.
If anybody needs help with anything I will always be here to help. Inbox me if you need help and I will try to help.
This is me improving on myself because I am trying to help myself. If I can do it you can too. I am weak in my eyes. I am very sensitive on the inside and out. I am emotionally weak but if someone doesn't like it. Well its thier opinion.
IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS MY RESPONSE TO YOU IS
YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE! MIGHT AS WELL TRY TO MAKE A CHANGE! AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY WAY OF CHANGE. SCREW YOU. IM CHANGING THINGS MY OWN WAY!
LOVE YA'LL
- MADI.
