Fall Out Boy Imagines

The Art of Naïveté and Faking Smiles

This is the first like... sadish one... sorry not sorry. Life isn't always happy and full of rainbows.

It had been a few months since you started feeling this way. You'd been dating Pete for 2 years but recently, everything has felt forced. The feelings of love and compassion was gone, replaced by a feeling of unhappiness and forced smiles. 

Pete still didn't know that you'd found out about his affair. You wanted to hate him, you wanted to leave him, but you couldn't. Deep down you thought you'd still love him, that he still cared about you. So you did what you had to. You smiled and didn't change physically. But mentally you were done. Done with pretending, done with playing his little game. He would come home late and hug you, he would kiss you and tell you that you were his one and only. But you could smell her perfume on his collar, and you knew he had been with her again.

You felt uncomfortable around him now. Knowing that he didn't love you anymore and that he was forcing himself to be around you.

"(Y/N)?" He broke you from your thoughts. 

"Hm? Oh, yeah what's up?" You manage out clearing your throat.

"You okay? You seem sorta out of it today?" He asked kissing your cheek. You melt into his touch but you get that feeling in your stomach, knowing he doesn't mean any of his. His concern, his kiss, his love, all fake.

"I'm fine." You lie through your teeth flashing him a smile. He returned the smile and wrapped his arm around your waist. 

Why didn't he just leave you? Why did he choose to play with your emotions, to make you slowly unravel mentally, trying to stay happy.

Life isn't fair. You knew that now. You find the man you love and you just weren't enough for him.  Why weren't you good enough? Was she prettier, more talented, did she understand him better. You loved him, why can't he love you. 

You lean you head on his shoulder, savoring his touch while you still could. One day you knew you would break. He wouldn't understand when he found you curled up and crying over a picture of the two of you when you were happy. And you were his everything. 

"(Y/N)? You know I love you right?" He smirks looking down at you. 

No you don't

"Well, I would sure hope so..." You chuckle. His eyes flashed with some emotion, guilt? "Because I love you."

Why can't you love me?

"Good... good..." He mumbled, he bit his lip and stared off into space.

"Pete, are you okay?" You ask sitting up to look at him. 

He didn't answer for a long time.

"Now I'm okay." He stated firmly.

What did that mean? 'Now I'm okay.' His words bouncing around, like an echo in your head. Another lie, trying to make you think he still loved you. Right? What if he still loved you? What if he didn't want to be with her  anymore. You couldn't be sure. You can't let your heart fall for him to hard, or the break would hurt all the more.

The thing that made it worse was, you were so happy. Both of you. You didn't know what went wrong between the two of you. 

You remembered the first night he had come home, after being with her.  He was so... oh what's the word... happy but not happy. It was like he knew what he had done and hated it but... not that much. It went on like that until he started to feel more guilty. At least that's what you guessed. He started clinging to you more. Like he was afraid you would fly away. He would take every chance he got to tell you how beautiful you were, or sneak a kiss just to make sure you still loved him. Which of course you did... right? 

Maybe your act had become nothing more then an act. Maybe your feelings for him were gone the second his lips touched another girls. It was so hard to tell, everything was blurring together. You remember crying a lot when you were confirmed of his relationship, when he was gone you broke down in sobs that dizzied your head and made you want to throw up. You remember vomiting into the toilet. That wasn't even the worst part.

It seemed to you that everyone knew about his affair. Whenever you hung out with the boys, the looks of pity they would shared between each other as you went on about how much you love Pete... how you would do anything for him. They knew that the feeling wasn't mutual. None of them wanted to tell you. Maybe they were afraid that if they told you that you would leave and never come back. And who know, maybe you would when someone finally decides to tell you or you finally decide to let them know that you knew the entire time.

It had become some sort of art or skill. The are of naivete and faking smiles. Every time you smile at him, every time you acted clueless to his secrete. You grew in your "art". Or maybe it was a game to him. Maybe she didn't know about you. What would it change though? Would she  feel guilty and stop him? Or would it would just fire her on to keep it up. Keep up playing with me. 

I'M NOT A TOY... I am not a toy to play with then leave behind, broken and in pieces like porcelain. So delicate and beautiful, broken so easily. Was that all I was? No. I was strong and I would make it through this. Because I loved him. I loved Pete Wentz. And he loved me... I know he does... he's just lost.

"(Y/N), you want to go get dinner?" He asks.

"Really?" You jump up a bit.

"Really, really." He said looking oddly at you.

Maybe he didn't really love you. But until you knew for sure you would keep trying to love him. after all you were a master in the are of naivete and faking smiles.

part 2?

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Also, thanks for 900 reads! ACK!