Storybrooke Chronicles(editing beware)

My Broken Heart

Emma POV

I'm sorry Emma... He's gone. It plays over and over in my head like a song stuck in loop It. It's like a record being set on a record player and cursed to be played forever. My whole heart is buried under so much pain I can barely breath anymore. Every in take of breath is like smelling the smoke of a fire, you feel it burn your lungs, feel the in take of the dark cloud and you know that if you smell to much of it your going to die my only problem is I'm cursed to live...

I'm cursed to wake up every morning to an empty bed and go to sleep every night to the exact same one. I'm cursed to go work and keep the streets of Storybrooke Safe from common criminals and Villains who just love to take away our happiness, especially Regina's. I'm cursed to see people happy and smiling everyday, people who are blind to see my broken heart. Well everyone except my family. They see my pain but only one person can understand it personally.

She understands what it's like to go to sleep with a broken heart. She knows the tears you cry all night, the way you smell him in sheets of your bed, the way you pray to wake up and find this all a nightmare, the way you wish one day you learn to not be hurting like this anymore but sadly she told me there is no cure to a broken heart. Regina knows the feeling all to well. She lost Daniel for good, Her father for good, Her mother for good, Henry for a while and Robin for almost a year. She's become a friend to broken hearts but yet she comes back every single time...

I don't know how she does it... How she breaks and then stands back up... I lost Neal and now Killian... I have only lost two people I love and I feel like I'm dying. Like I will never love again but yet she has been here five times before. Five times she slept with a broken heart and yet she manages. She's stronger than I in every aspect of life. Her love is deeper, stronger and rare. Her magic will always be a bit stronger due to she's good and evil. She's superwoman and bounces back yet I can't...

Three weeks he's been dead and I have been in this house of ours. Three weeks of tears, fits of anger, fits of bitter tears and self loath, nights of sleeping holding his pillow and sleeping in robe so I at least imaging he's right next to me and not six feet under. Three weeks of hell I call it. Three weeks of pain that fate seems to think I need so bad. For Three weeks I barley survived but now I understand this is the new reality... This is my new life... The life I will be forced to live forever.... A life without Killian Jones.

I sit on my bed, tears streaming steadily down my rose red cheeks when I hear the door open. I don't even bother because I know it's not who I want. It's Killian walking home telling me it was all fake so he could protect me because god what I would do for that to a reality. "Mom!" I hear Henry call. I don't respond. I just sit there and hope he doesn't find me but isn't him who opens the bedroom door. It's Regina. She looks at me and she looks afraid. "Emma." She breaths. I look her in the eye but say nothing. She walks over and sit on my bed. She does nothing but get under my covers and pulls me into a hug.

Before I know it I'm sobbing uncontrollably into her chest. I sense Henry come in and then he walks out. Regina whispers "It won't be like this forever." I shake my head lightly. "Regina I... I can't sleep, I can't eat I can't do anything. I tried... Working the day after he died but I still couldn't stop thinking about him." I say crying the last little bit. Regina sighs "I know Emma but you have to let yourself grieve.... Henry is sorry you know."

I feel something inside me... Something I felt towards to Zelena for killing Neal. I felt a tiny bit a hate run through my body. I don't know what's wrong with me! I can't hate Henry! Yeah I told him to stay inside the station while Killian and I tried to save Storybrooke from the first dark one but it's Henry and... He.. He just wanted to help. It's not his fault she killed Killian! Killian would have done anything I save anyone... Killian was a hero and got Henry out of the way just in time but killed himself in the process.

I know what was happening to me... "Regina I felt it." "No Emma your not like me." She states firmly. But I felt it. Regina once told me that the evil queen was a woman with a broken heart and to never underestimate a woman like that. Her hate for my mother overtook her and now I know what that feels like. If only for a second I hated Henry I still felt it and I NEVER want to hate my son. This broken heart it's.... It's changing me.

Regina continued to hug me until she had to pick up Roland from school. She left me and I laid in my bed trying to sleep with my broken heart. Trying to get over Killian so I could go back to my normal self but I can't. I'm trying and trying but I can't get over him... Not yet....

I can't sleep with a broken heart...
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 If I learned anything from OUAT and The Evil Queen it's never underestimate a broken hearted woman.
⚓️⚓️Autumn⚓️⚓️