The Princess Diaries || brooks

Not a Prince

"My boobs are disproportional to my body." I announced in a whiny voice as I looked at myself in my pink mirror, a gift from the Greek throne on my sixteenth birthday.

Illitia spoke up, "No. They really aren't."

I shook my head violently in disagreement with her statement. She was probaby just trying to be reassuring. "I'm five foot five and weigh one hundred and ten pounds and have a C cup size. Its so not normal."

"I always thought you got a boob job that one time you went to Los Angeles." Annabelle, Princess of Austria and also my bestfriend said. When I mentioned a lot of royals had showed up to see these guys perform, I wasn't exaggerating in the slightest. The thing was a lot of them have teenage daughters who slobbered all over the Janoskians, as I had recently found out was their group name. And since a lot of teen royalty adored them, they organized a special show in Sydney for us.

I glared at her, "I did NOT. Where's you hear that from?"

"Prince Harry." She said, shrugging her shoulders like it was nothing.

Of course it would be Harry spreading stupid rumors like that! "Harry? Ugh. He's just jealous because I let the Prince of Monaco take me to prom and not him. What a loser, getting peeved over something irrelevant like that."

"Harry's a nice guy!" Illitia defended him.

I looked in the mirror and sighed. "Of course you would think that, Illitia. He's your party friend. AND you're going to marry him and make hairy little ginger babies together."

"What?" She asked, looking up from her iPhone screen. She was probably busy texting Prince Harry right now. Aw, I can't stand the cuteness of this.

"I told you this at the show. Remember? Honestly, pay attention when I throw out those random thoughts of mine!" I said to her.

"I was kind of watching the show, you know? The one on the stage with those five hot Australian boys and they were making people laugh with their comedy b-"

I interrupted her, "Shut up, Illitia!" Sometimes I think little sisters should like, I don't know, move into another palace for the rest of their lives and only see you at funerals and weddings, yeah that'd be nice! "And I didn't get a boob job, Belle." I said, turning to my friend.

"No." Illitia said as she walked out of my bedroom, "But you totally got implants on that Kim Kardashian ass of yours."

Oh, it's on!

"You WHAT?" Annabelle gasped.

"I didn't!" I protested and stomped a foot on the ground. Then I looked at my rear in the full length mirror.

Princess Illitia Marisol Valeria de la Santisima Trinidad de Asturias y los Paises Bajos de Holanda has just started World War III. And big sister Ariadne plays dirty! Call in the allies!

**

"Beau?" James yelled from the other side of my door. I sighed and laid down on my bed with my white iPhone on my chest.

"Dorito?" Another voice called. Fucking little bitches. Why can't they just leave me alone for one fucking second? I was trying to get some thinking done here. Okay, so I know Skip doesn't do a lot of thinking, but he could at least fucking respect those who actually do.

"BROTHER! OPEN THE DOOR BROTHER!" And so could Luke and Jai. I grabbed iPhone and looked at the Wikipedia page I had pulled up.

Ariadne, Princess of Asturias in the Kingdom of Spain.

Shit.

What type of name is Ariadne? I can't even fucking proncounce it. I don't speak Spanish.

I read on at the details of her life.

Princess Ariadne Marisol Andrea de la Santisima Trinidad de Asturias y los Paises Bajos de Holanda. What the fuck did I just read? Is this really her full name? I looked at the English translation that was in parenthesis. 'Ariadne Marisol Andrea of the Holy Trinity of Asturias and the Netherlands of Holland'. She's eighteen years old, her birthday was five months ago. She attends the London School of Maths & Advanced Sciences. Her father is a Spanish prince, next in line for the Spanish crown and her mum is a Netherlandish princess who is also next in line for her own throne; she has four siblings. I couldn't find any information on whether or not she had a boyfriend except for a Prince that had taken her to prom recently, but they were just friends.

She models sometimes, but she was way too tiny to be professional status. A shame really, she has a killer body for swim suits or anything really. She looked great in all the photos that came up of her.

I felt kind of strange looking her up on the internet, but my fans do this shit to me all the time, I'm sure. Right?

Right?

Who am I kidding...this is definitely creeper status. I shoudn't be doing this. Its not fucking healthy at all.

And anyway, I don't know why I even toyed with the idea of being with her. I need to get my shit thoughts out of the clouds. She's a princess and probably got her heart set on marrying some goody goody fucking little prince from fucking Siberia or something. She probably spends all her free time at tea parties, fancy dinners, polo matches, and other royal things I'd never be able to do with her. I'd stick out like a sore thumb.

She's perfect.

And me?

I'm just a boy from Melbourne. A boy from Melbourne who creepily searches Princesses' information on Wikipedia during his free time. She and I have nothing in common.

**

His name is Beau Peter Brooks, he's from Melbourne and he has two younger brothers who are twins. He lives with his brothers and his mum and is apparently in a bromance relationship with that Daniel Sahyounie kid my sister thought was hot. He just turned nineteen in July and currently is part of the prankster/comedy group Janoskians.

Did I really just Wikipedia search some guy I just met?

Yeah, I think I just did. I'm so not obsessive in any way shape or form, I was merely curious to know more about him and I knew asking him wasn't going to be an option. Abuela would never allow me to start any sort of relationship with him.

He's not a Prince.

Ugh. Why did I have to be born into royalty? Why can't I be a normal girl and date anyone I want?

I shut off my laptop when Annabelle walked in and quickly turned to face her. I could hear the excitement in her voice as she asked me, "So, let's go out and get some custom made Janoskians hoodies?"