The Rant Book

Rant 5: The Twilight Saga

Hmm, Well here is my fifth Rant.

I know In the last rant I said the upload would be soon. but I kinda got held up and distracted by sorting out my birthday celebration thing. Which I also had a friend help me with that. so once again I'm going to dedicate this book to Lily. Because she organised a great birthday Picnic thing with lots of my friends. Which I must admit was really fun :)

So thanks Lily!

And once again, Like usual I will say that this is my opinion, don't be pissed about what I'm writing, also if you don't like it feel free to share your opinion on the matter, but there's no point starting any arguments over this. So enjoy reading my rants. And feel free to drop a comment, vote or fan me.

But yeah, If you like twilight then I'm just saying. sorry if I offend you with my opinion here.

Anyway on with the rant!

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Well basically I am one of the people who pretty much hate and despise twilight.

Before I get into the ran I do admit that when I read the books I did find them mildly interesting, But when the films came out it pretty much ruined any interest in the story for me.

I mean the books are okay. but the films are horrible and the actors in the film are pretty damn shit at acting. Either that or they were told to act like monotone morons.

Now what I find irritating about the whole thing is that Bella is a whiny, useless, inconsiderate and selfish bitch, And suddenly she is the idol for female twilight fans everywhere.

And what I don't understand is that if she is so 'Plain', why is it that so many guys fall for her within the first 30 minutes of the film, or in the case of the book, the first 3 chapters?

I mean if all those guys fell for her, that means that she obviously isn't as plain as she is made out to be. And clearly she stick out to a lot of people which is probably why they fancy her. although I cannot see why.

Also another thing that Irritates me is that before the Twilight saga vampires were seen as deadly, feared and powerful creatures. but now thanks to the Twilight books, Vampires are seen as gay little sparkly creatures that like to fuck humans. I mean her version of vampires sparkle...Enough said right?

Which brings me to my next point. Why is Bella so Horny? I mean I know she is a hormonal teenager, but she seems to want to fuck Edward constantly throughout, what 3 Books? then when she does get to finally shag him. she gets pregnant... I mean seriously?

Dead people wouldn't produce sperm. which brings me to the point that they wouldn't have blood pumping through their veins, which also means that Edward wouldn't be able to get a boner. So how the fuck would she be able to get pregnant.

I mean yeah I know they explain how it happened and shit. But in the slightly real world that they are trying to set the book in. that would NEVER actually happen. So she would never actually be able to have sex with him. she should have gone with Jacob :L I mean at least being with him didn't turn her into an obsessed petty little girl.

But one thing that I find funny is that the book is so easy to ridicule. I mean have you guys seen how many Twilight mocks are on YouTube and all over the Internet? There's hundreds of them posted everywhere which makes it obvious that it is so easy to mock and make fun of.

Then again that's probably because the story is not very well thought out and to be honest is quite stupid.

Also the story is pretty much childish and is quite predictable. I mean after reading the first half of the first book it was pretty obvious what would happen. Because obviously the main character wouldn't die.

Another thing that pissed me off quite a bit was that kids would be reading the books, and what does she write about in one chapter? Drugs. Yeah I know she didn't mean that any of them were taking drugs but seriously a 11 year old Reading "Its my own personal brand of heroin" that's pretty messed up right? Because its planting stuff about drugs into kids minds.

Wouldn't you be pretty angry  if you were a parent and your child came up to you asking what Heroin was? I mean yeah sure they are meant to know the bad facts about drugs when they are older. But that's when they are older, not young kids. I know I would be pretty annoyed. In fact I am pretty annoyed about that!!!

And yeah throughout the story Edward is complaining that he cant read Bella's mind. You should need to read a persons mind to get to know them, its an invasion of privacy.

I mean in every story you know not to go after the bad people no matter what. what does she do? Oh yeah! she goes after the bad guys and even meets them somewhere without telling anyone where she is going.

Another thing is how Edward is a couple of Hundred years older than Bella, and fair enough he looks like a teen, he is still way way waaaaay older than her and that a tad creepy.

But what is really creepy to me is the fact that after Renesmee was born, A little while after Jacob imprinted on her. That's what I find really really creepy. He will watch her growing up and love her in a way that nobody else would. Eww? Gross right?

But what makes me laugh a lot is the fact that Jacob takes his shirt off... A lot, I mean is there a time where he keeps a shirt on for more than 5 minutes?

I know he is a werewolf and everything and he would be hot a lot. but seriously dude, cant you keep your shirt on for once?!? you don't need to constantly have your clothes off...

But seriously as people say, and I agree with this, If the Cullen's acted that murderous way when Bella had a tiny paper cut. How the hell would they react when she was on her period? then again its not like they showed any fact about that in the film or book.

If the vampires smelt blood or saw blood. They would go mental over the sight or smell of it, so why didn't they go mad over it when she was on her period, or when any other girl was on her period for that matter.

But hey its not like the book even seems to be real in any way, so I guess it makes sense that she wouldn't write any real life scenarios in the book.

What I find funny and annoying at the same time though is that there is now a religion for Twilight which is pretty stupid If I may say so myself. I mean a religion based on the Twilight Saga set up by the fans who love twilight for the fans who love twilight. but seriously people!!! Why be so obsessed over a freaking story!!! there's more important things going on in the world. More important than Bella's consistent Whining. But yeah, Cullenism is retarded. But hey, that's my opinion...

What irritated me quite a bit was I saw on Yahoo answers, Somebody had wrote a really silly question about Harry potter and Twilight. Yeah I must say, Harry potter is quite a good story. Maybe too many books, but I still Like the story line, the books and the films. But some random Twilight fan was accusing J.K Rowling of copying Twilight. which I must say annoyed me quite a bit whilst making me laugh at the same time.

I mean seriously. Firstly, Harry Potter books were wrote Waaaaaaay before twilight. and Secondly, Just because Sirius Black Can transform into a dog/wolf looking creature. It doesn't mean that He is a copy of Jacob Black. who also happens to have the same last name as Sirius. But yeah, If anyone should be accused of shit like this then It should be Stephenie Meyer considering the fact that The Twilight Saga was wrote AFTER The harry Potter books were.

Anyway this is the end of my rant. I made it a tad longer to make up for the lack of uploads really. So I hope you enjoyed reading my detailed rant about The Twilight Saga.

And watch out for my next Rant upload. Also feel free to check out my other books. Like Ruby, a romantic/ Teen fiction book about a troubled girl trying to change her ways who finds love and more pain along the way also meeting new people and making new friends.

thanks for reading,

Sarah x