As I woke up and went to the bathroom I looked into the mirror and said what I always tell myself before I start my day "Today I Daniel James Howell will be the dankest meme ever alive. But... will my memes ever be dank enough? Will my Pepes ever be rare enough? Will I ever have enough Doge. Of course I will, you're Daniel Howell. JUST DO IT, DONT LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS!" I start to realize that I yelled that and probably woke up Phil. I start to slowly turn around and I see Phil. He opens his mouth and whispers "Thanks Pete." Phil just stares at me smirking and I look at him, saying one thing "Memes M8" oh wait that was two ;_; "Dan I think we need new merch in the shop." (a/n www.danandphilshop.com ) "Phil I have an idea... How about we dress up and try to look like strippers for a calendar?" "That's an AMAZING (Phil) idea Dan! Let's start right now!" They start to walk out of their place and to a photographer named Shrek. Soon they got dressed up in 12 different outfits, one of them being police officers "Kinky." Dan saying winking at Phil. Phil looks at Dan (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜). They then remember that Shrek was there and started to pose Phil holding the handcuffs the way you would see someone in a porno hold them. Shrek then quietly says "I ship it." while taking the photo and then a big light flashes and BaMN, Shrek is gone. Leaving them with the photos. The FBI bust in quacking "PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR TRYING TO BE A STRIPPER!"
"Dude you've got it all wrong, it's for a new calendar we're making, and don't worry we are YouTubers not strippers." Dan tells the officer. The officers agree and walk out. Dan turns to see Shrek naked, jacking himself off. Dan and Phil looked at each other with their eyebrows raised. Shrek looks at them and says "You guys are so perfect for each other it makes me want to have cheeky bum secks." Shrek starts pumping harder as Dan starts developing a bulge in his pants. Phil notices and strokes Dan's bulge. Dan looked at Phil "Not now Phil, we have to finish recording PINOF 7" Dan leans and whispers in Phil's ear. Shrek walks behind Dan whispering "Cum on Dan... After all Shrek is love Shrek is life." As Phil turns around to go look at some plants. Shrek continues to speak "Come on Dan let's leave Phil behind, come on, I'll let you be top." Dan turned to Shrek with a smile. He has been a bottom all his life, he wanted a change, he wanted to be top for once. Once Shrek and Dan were alone Shrek pushed Dan on the bed "I LIED HOE M8 HAHAHAH YOU WILL NEVER BE A TOP YOUR A BOTTOM AND WILL ALWAYS BE A BOTTOM." Dan felt hurt that his idol just told him that. He cried French Fries. Shrek being hungry grabbed one and ate it. Dan looked up smiling evilly "Oh Shrek... Oh poor Shrek, those fries are made out of my tears and acid." Shrek starts to choke feeling his insides start to burn as he falls to the ground. Dan picks up the bodies throwing it out the window in a box saying "Shrek costume 4 free." As he starts to walk up to Phil while feeling very proud "Hey Philly lets finish recording PINOF 7."
~~~~~during PINOF 7~~~~
I start to moan after being covered in Phil's red juices. I get up pausing the camera. "Oh no Phil, looks like you gave me a boner we can't continue the video like this, remember we aren't coming out till 2022." Dan starts smirking. Phil pushes Dan on the bed "Talk dirty to me." Dan tells Phil "I heard what you and Shrek did. HA you Dan... Dan Howell a top? In your dreams! "Phil says whispering into Dans ear. Dan opens his month to speak but Phil's mushroom was already in his mouth. "WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN?!?!" Dan and Phil hear someone or something quack. They open the door in the middle of their kinky stuff "Oh no please." Dan and Phil say at the same time. Soon Dan passed out alongside Phil.
