Life Goes On (Sequel to "I'm Not Who You Think.") **ON HOLD/EXTREME REVISION**

Chapter 5: opening.

For the first time,

In over a year,

I actually started paying attention in school.

I wasn't failing anything--

And all my teachers were impressed.

I didn't think of killing myself,

Every single day.

But I found I had more distractions.

Lacey, Stephan, and I

Started hanging out more.

Things almost seemed normal.

I mean, I still had

Many, many nights,

Of just staring at the ceiling--

And wondering why.

Why did Stevie have to go?

And why didn't I stop her?

I should have known.

I should have chased her,

And never let her leave my sight.

I told Lacey about how sad I am about it.

One night,

We were sitting on a large,

White and brown boulder,

That over looked the glassy lake.

It was dark,

And the air was crisp,

But yet comfortable.

The sky was cloudless.

It were nights like these,

That made thinking about things--

Well, it made it okay.

"Are you still sad about it a lot?"

Lacey asked, her voice

Soft and serious.

She tossed a small pebble in the water,

Messing up the total stillness.

Her eyes met mine,

And I could tell she honestly wanted to know.

I nodded a little at first,

Before kicking my feet in the gravel.

"I mean,

Yeah. I miss her every day.

It doesn't really get any easier.

But lately I've been able to deal better.

She's still the first thing I think about,

In the morning.

And the last thing I think about,

Before I go to bed.

She helped me, in so many ways.

It just. Doesn't make sense that she's gone.

The saddest thing is,

She did it to herself.

She was in so much pain,

Pain that I couldn't help her with.

And she just ended it herself."

I opened up, but I still left quite a bit out.