The Fault in Our Scars (Phan AU)

Chapter 1

Life? the big what if. The thing about us humans that we doubt so much is our own existence. Most of us are afraid of death and want to live life to its fullest. But then you have the people like me, the people that embrace death, that want to die, that don't give a fuck what happens to them. Every breath I take I regret I don't want to breathe but some how I always do I just can't seem to stop. Death? a simple question. You die it's a relief you go to either heaven or hell. But the question is do we actually go anywhere or do we just roam the earth as spirits. That's what makes us all different we all believe in different things it makes us unique from one another, it's what makes us special.
I sit on my bed with my sketch book on my lap and my earbuds in my ears and I just draw out my feelings. I draw the way the moon is so much different than the sun. the difference between night and day. Death and life.
I can't particularly explain my outlook on life because I really don't have one I just live, breathe, and wish that I was dead. That's basically my life. Not very interesting right?
I hear pounding downstairs and I walk over to my door to listen.
"Honey please don't you dare lay a finger on Daniel or I will kick you out"
There is a loud smack and the sound of crying from my mother.
I hear footsteps coming up my stairs and I run back over to my bed and pretend like I have been sketching the whole time. I am scared. I don't want my dad to hurt me and especially not my mother.
The door opens with a slam and my father stomps over to me and slaps me.
"What did I do father?" I say feeling my eyes begin to break tears.
"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID YOU LITTLE SHIT!"
He punches me and I try to run away but he grabs the back of my shirt collar and he throws me up against the wall and he shoves his knee into my stomach and I let out a slight cry.
"Why are you doing this?"
"BECAUSE I HATE YOU I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT STUCK WITH A BISEXUAL SON LIKE YOU! YOU ARE DISGUSTING AND SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!"
Tears pour out of my eyes.
"Why is it so bad to love?"
"BECAUSE YOU ARE A FAG I DIDN'T RAISE A FAG! YOU AREN'T MY SON AND YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THIS FAMILY I WANT YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE BY MORNING!"
He knees me in the gut one last time before I fall against my wooden floor and I just lay there waiting for anything to help me.

An hour goes by and nothing just dead silence. I then hear a slight knock on my door.
"Daniel please honey let me in?" it is my mother.
I groan as she opens the door. I see her face and I almost cry her eye is all bruised and she has a knife wound in her stomach.
"Mum what happened? what did he do to you?"
She cries "I'm fine Daniel I'm so sorry that your dad found out about you I never told him I promise you."
She gets limp and I push myself off of the dusty floor and I put my arms around her and I hold her until her body stops moving she is gone from this world. She is lucky to be able to leave all of this behind, and be able to go to a better place.
I lay her body on my floor and I wipe my tears away and I call my friend PJ and explain what happened.
"Oh no Dan please come over you can stay with me."
I sniffle "thanks man"
I grab a bag from under my bed and I begin to throw some clothes in there and things that I can't live without and I just run out if my house and into my car. I turn the ignition and slowly pull out of my driveway and onto the road.
When I reach Pj's house I see him waiting at the door for me with his mum and tears just start flowing from my eyes like fountains and I run up to them.
"I'm so sorry Daniel" his mum says putting her hand on my back.
I feel something in me change. My heart just goes black like a storm cloud just goes over me and I can't see any light. I am the night and I am death. nothing good will come of this. I open the door and I race up the stairs into the bathroom. I open all the cabinets and draws to search for anything to use on myself anything that could be harmful.
I found a single blade razor and a bottle of pain killers. I grip strongly on the end of the blade and I saw into my forearm until I reach bone I do that two more times and then I reach for the pain killers and get a handful and just put then in my mouth. I grab a cup that is next to the sink and I fill it with water and chug it down so that the pain killers are in my body.
I walk out of the bathroom with my bag and I throw it onto the bed and I lay down.
My eyes become heavy and they won't stay open I begin to fall asleep and I wish to never wake up.

HEY GUYS I RESTARTED THIS STORY BECAUSE NO CLUE WHAT TO DO WITH THE OTHER ONE AND I HAD GOTTEN SOME REALLY NASTY COMMENTS WITH THE OTHER ONE TOO SO I HOPE THAT YOU ENJOYED THIS FIRST CHAPTER ~ScarlettKat😿😹