Who Am I?

chapter 1

I opened my eyes and looked up at my dark ceiling. I knew i wasnt going to fall asleep tonight. My thoughts drifted. Tomorrow is the first day of school and i have no idea how people are going to deal with my change. Maybe they wont even notice..... or maybe they will... wither way my heart is beating a million miles a minute.

Tears rolled down my cheeks and i wiped them away. I had a pain in my heart. I so desperately wanted to have friends that all this time i have tried to fit in. But not anymore. I will be me and no one will stop me. But then why ..... why am i so afraid?

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When i woke up i was tired from the lack of sleep. IMy eyes burned from staring blankly into the dark all night. I didnt want to get Up but i knew i had to. I wished so many times that school would not start but there was no going back now. I took a deep breath. I cant believe im doing this.

I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I had short light brown hair that went down just past my ears, i had light brown eyes that shined brightly. I was very very skinny and my collar bone was prominent. I was kind of short but there were some other people my height so i didnt mind. I was still in my pjs. I had a red tank top with lace on The top on and a pair of black shorts. I smiled at myself in the mirror. "Okay sam. Lets do this."

I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. My mom smiled at me and pointed at the couch "your uniform is over there. It came last night. The rest of your clothes are shipping in tomorrow." She handed me a plate of scrambled eggs and smiled softly. "Everything is going to be fine today sam. Dont worry."

I blushed as i took the plate "yeah i know mom." I sat down on the couch next to my uniform and set my plate on my lap. I picked up one of the black thigh high socks and blushed. I cant believe im wearing this. What kind of school is this?

I set the sock down and started to scarf down my eggs. I felt as if i was going to throw up but i kept eating trying to distract myself from these nervous feelings in my gut.

I sat my empty plate in the sink the turned to my mom. "Did you tell dad yet?"

She bit her lip and put a forced smile on her face. She patted my head "dont worry sam. . Your father will understand." She turned back to the kitchen thinking i couldnt see her..... but i saw a expression of sadness cross her face.

I walked into the living room again and picked up my uniform shirt. It was whit and button up. I put it over my tank top and slowly buttoned it up. I grabbed the plad skirt next and put it on over my skinny legs. It was a bit big but it would do. I grabbed the thigh highs next and pulled them up over my pail legs. I looked at my mom and smiled. She put her hand over her mouth and smiled back. "Oh honey you look great."

I grinned "i always do." I laughed. I grabbed the black shoes and slipped them onto my feet. Then i ran over to a mirror and looked at myself. I smiled and took a deep breath. Tears formed in my eyes but i quickly stopped them. I finally was happy. I finally felt like...like me. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a pink flower from the vase and put it in my hair. I smiled. Ive never felt this happy.

I looked at my mom and took a deep breath. "Well....its time for me to go. Theres no going back at this point. Wish me luck."

She hugged me and whispered "good luck sam. And dont let anyone tell you who you have to be."

I nodded and walked out the door.

I walked to the end of the driveway and smiled "well sam. You are probably the happiest..... girl in the world right now. Hopefully it will last."