Troubled

Chapter 13: Thoughts

Harri's POV

I had to make my way to my room in silence trying not to wake anyone asleep behind the many closed ,wooden doors. As I walked through the dark and empty corridors alone I started to think about all the things that had occurred during tonight. Most of these thoughts had 'Jack Anderson' in them,  I still can't believe he kissed me or I kissed him . But it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is his lips were on mine. It was one of  the best things I've experienced since I won a stuffed toy giraffe at the fair when I was 10 and being girl who has never been on a date , kissed someone or even had a boyfriend it's one of the best things ever ,knowing that you kissed the one of the most attractive guys in the school even if it does sound dramatic or stupid. But then at the same time it's also one of the worst things knowing that he won't remember or  care or keep letting it eat at him because it's a normal thing for him . So I think maybe ignoring and trying to forget what happened is a good idea. After all he is Jack Anderson he's probably got a string of girls and he is trying to attach me to it as well but I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen.

I finally reached dorm 'B19' I carefully opened and shut the door behind me trying not to make a sound. The lights were off and I could see violet was asleep. Like a ninja a tip-toed over to my bed try not to wake Violet. I thought I was safe so I collapsed onto my bed not bothering to take off my dress or shoes. I could feel my eyes shutting slowly I was in some sort of daydream making up random scenarios in my head and letting sleep almost wash over me until I was harshly taken out of them when a stern voice said "what time do you call this?" That was obviously a rhetorical question. I sat up and looked in the direction of Violets bed,she had turned the bedside lamp on and she's was now sat up starring at me. The light is burning my eyes so I'm repeatedly blinking trying to adjust them to the light. I sat up to look at her and replied "the current time is 4:11 am" with that I picked up the digital clock from the desk and showed her the time. She just rolled her eyes at the comment and said "sometimes you are just like Faye." For some reason I was slightly offended by this I mean I'm not as bad as Faye am I? "speaking of which where is she?" The mention of her name made me shiver with disgust my mind giving me blunt images of what I saw. Stupid brain. But the question is do I tell Violet where she is exactly because she really won't like it. But, I can't lie to her so I tried to think about how I would say it briefly yet carefully "She is still at the party,..enjoying herself. With caleb." I muttered the last part to myself but I thinks she heard however this was all true, just not detailed but a part of me wanted violet to see the awful sight that my poor eyes had seen. Violet just looked at me with one eyebrow raised as if to say 'really' I nodded at her response. Violet just shook her head in disbelief ,turned off her light. Finally. And lay back down to sleep.

I lay in bed for awhile I couldn't tell whether Violet was still awake. The silence was very relaxing it just made me think about Jack and how he lay with his arms around me so strong yet caring. Could I tell anyone? or even more important should I tell anyone? I doubt it would effect anyone. It was just a drunken mistake. Yeah a but not for you, you were as sober as a vicar. Man that stupid voice! Out of the blue I came out with "can you keep a secret?" I waited a while for a reply but there was just silence.  Even though there was no reply I carried on anyway "I kissed Jack" there was still no response to this just silence. Great. Now your talking to your self out loud harri, no wonder your in a troubled school. Violet must be asleep or just ignoring me. I will have to clear things up with her tomorrow I thought to myself and I began to let sleep wash over me again this time fully with no interruptions.