Broken

I'll Find Out, Just You Wait

~Sometimes it's the ones we think we love most, that end up hurting us the most.~

Emily:

There was nothing I could do.

I felt weak.

Hopeless.

There had been no sign of Will (or Jasen for that matter) since before the funeral.

He didn't even show up.

I still cut. Almost every night now.

It was getting bad.

I haven't eaten since the dreaded event that was the funeral. The strange part was, I haven't been hungry. At all.

I started to lose a lot of weight. I don't care whether I had an eating disorder or not, I just want it to stop. I didn't stop eating because of weight loss or anything, I just never felt like eating. I was to weak.

"Maybe I'll die tonight."

I said the same thing to myself every time the blade cut into my skin, or I skipped another meal.

I didn't really want to die. To be perfectly honest, I was scared of what came after life. If what they say is true about Heaven and Hell, I had a feeling that I couldn't shake. "If I kill myself, will I go to Hell? Will anyone even care?

Maybe someday I won't even care.

Maybe someday I wont care what happens.

That anything would be better then this.

Right now, I did care. So if I die, when I die, I just want to be gone.

No Heaven or Hell shit. I just want to disappear.

Get rid of me for good.

That's when I thought about calling Will. Then I thought against it.

I had a feeling there was more to the story then he was letting on, and soon enough I will make it my mission to find out.