Don't Let Me Go -A Ponyboy Fanfic

I love you...a lot

London's POV

I lay in bed, wide awake. I couldn't imagine having to tell Pony and Soda about all this. My head was filled with awful thoughts and I couldn't get them out. Who do I love? Pony or Soda? And how do I tell them I'm packing my bags and leaving so soon?

A tear slipped out of my eye. I wiped it away, and heard a knock at my door. My dad walked in and sat by the edge of my bed.

"Can't sleep?" he asked me.
"Nope" I said, wiping my eyes.

He noticed I was crying and looked concerned.
"Hey, hey. Don't cry. It's okay. Don't worry"
I looked up at him with my bloodshot eyes.
"It's not okay! Nothing's okay. I'm a teenage girl who's stuck in a mess, moving away from my favorite people and I'm missing mom more than ever right now!" I blurted out. We usually never talk about mom but I couldn't hold it in.

"Try to get some sleep. Goodnight." he got up and closed my door.

I pulled the covers over my face and just sobbed. I feel so lost and alone. I climbed out my window on to my roof and pulled out a cigarette.

I saw a shadow walking towards my house. It crept closer.

I head a familiar voice,
"London?" It was Soda.

He came closer to my house. I jumped down from where I was and walked towards him.

"I'm sorry" my lip quivered and my eyes red.

He pulled me into a tight hug and didn't let go.

"It's okay. You've got me. You're okay" he whispered in my ear while he rubbed my back.

We walked over to the park together. We sat down and he put his arm around me.

"Why were you up?" I asked him, since it was 3 am.

"Couldn't sleep. Too many thoughts. Ya know?" he looked at me.

"Tell me about it," I sighed.

"Soda, listen. I really need to tell you something," I sat looking into his eyes. The moon illuminating his face.

"My dad is moving me back home. My aunt died and he wants to go home," I bit down on my lip.

"What? No, you can't just leave," his face was filled with worry.

I said nothing and he pulled me into him. My hair fell over my face and I cried into his chest.

"Is Pony home?" I asked him.
"Yeah, you needa talk to him?" he looked down.

----

Soda walked me back to his house and made sure not to wake Darry.

Pony came out the front door and saw me standing there.

"London, what's happening?" his eyes filled with tears.

"So much more than you know," I cried out.

----

He took me to the park and we sat and talked.

"You what?!" he screamed.

"Pony, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it" I sobbed.

"My girlfriend kissed my own brother. What the fuck?" he kicked the ground.

"I'm sor-" he cut me off.

"Just go." he said, walking away.

"Pony please!" I cried.

"London, just go away! I thought I meant more to you" he ran away.

I sat there with my hands over my face and sobbed. How did I get myself into this?

I really hated myself right now.

I walked back home and crawled into bed and just sat there crying.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I screamed and punched my wall.

---

I woke up the next morning on my floor with an empty bottle of vodka.

I sat up and remembered what happened last night.

I had everything I needed and I messed up. I messed up so badly.

I ran myself a warm bath, and sat in it.
What on earth have I done?

--

I got out and dressed myself to go on a walk. Try to clear my mind. My dad wants us out of this house in 3 days, I ruined everything with Pony, and now I'm here by myself.

I was walking down the empty street as I heard the sound of pebbles crunching behind me.

I turned around.

Pony stood there and said nothing. I did the exact same, unsure of what to do.

"I love you...a lot"
his voice trembled.

I said nothing but ran towards him and into his arms. He held me tightly as he possibly could.

"I'm sorry" I kept repeating as he rubbed my back.