An All Time High

Do You Regret It?

“Jack are you okay?” Alex asked as he bent down moving some of Jack’s hair from his face so it wouldn’t get throw up in it

“Yeah I just got nervous.” He mumbled before spiting in the bucket again

“Holy shit what happened?” Danny asked as he ran over to the two boys.

“What does it look like?” Alex snapped feeling protective of his defenseless boyfriend.

“I meant why is he getting sick Alex.” Danny snapped back crouching down next to Jack rubbing his back. “Is it from the fact that you just came out to everyone?” He asked in a whisper.

Jack nodded his head leaning a little bit into Alex as he did so. His mind was swirling with thoughts, he hadn’t even told his parents about him liking men and now everyone knew. He had thought he was ready for this but looking out at everyone’s shocked faces he was having second guesses.   What would they all say about him? That he was a gay fag who shouldn’t be allowed to live? What would his family say, would they disown him for coming out of the closet? So many questions that were going unanswered crossed his mind as he again began spiting up in the half way full bucket.

“Danny can you please tell everyone to leave this room, I want to talk to Jack alone.” Alex said having pain and fear come across his own face.

“Yeah.” Danny said getting up and calling for everyone to leave. Each one passing by either giving both men a sympatric glance or a pat on the back. “Everything is going to be fine man.” Danny whispered before he followed everyone out.

Alex stayed silent for a few minutes just listening to Jack’s heavy breathing and occasional gaging. He felt worried that they did something wrong like coming out too fast. Did Jack regret it? Was the biggest question on his mind, what would happen if he did? Alex didn’t like to think that he did regret it, that would make Nano right about the whole relationship.

"Alex..” Jack mumbled looking up at him with teary eyes and that moment Alex knew the answers to his question. He did in fact regret it. He moved away from the sick boy unable to hold in his emotions, a cry escaped his lips as he looked back down at Jack who looked at a loss for words.

“Do you seriously regret it?” Alex asked falling to the ground only a few feet away from Jack who now looked heartbroken.

“It’s not that I regret it…But we should of thought about this more we didn’t even tell our families first!” Jack cried trying to move closer to Alex who only moved further away.

“So? They would have found out. Did you not want to do this?” Alex asked wiping the emotion from his face.  “Were you just doing this to make me happy? Because you felt guilty that your best friend was gay for you?” He asked fearing any answer that he may hear.

“NO! Alex I would never of done that! I did want to do this; I want this relationship with you. “Jack cried looking for the first time in years that he was about to cry. “I love you.” He added letting a tear fall freely from his brown eyes.

“Then why do you regret coming out with me?” Alex asked him feeling his heart beat increase, he hated seeing Jack cry.

“I told you I did regret it! I just wished that we waited a little so we could tell our parents first. I know I am giving you mixed signals yesterday I was all for this and now I’m throwing up but Alex this is new to me, my feelings for you me being gay. I still don’t know how to react to it. But I promise you,” Jack began saying moving so that he was sitting in front of Alex,” I promise you that I did not regret coming out with you.” He said smiling through the tears.

“I’m confused too.” Alex admitted lifting his head to meet Jack’s beautiful eyes.

“We all are, look at Nano he doesn’t even know what he wants from this relationship.” Jack said chuckling thinking about their manager.