Blog Worthy (officially unfinished)

Blog Worthy

Prologue

My therapist- yes, I have one of those, don’t judge me (although you already have)- told me I needed an outlet for all my “emotional pain”. Trust me, its non-existent. I just happened to come across this site, and venting to the intergalactic spider webs seemed like a good idea at the time.

                 I guess when I started this blog three months ago I thought no one would come across it or waste their time with little ol’ me. But I was wrong. I became the headliner at Norfolk High, telling everything as it is. The best thing was that no one knew who I was, and suddenly, the guessing game began.

                Now at first, it was extremely entertaining watching all of you run around like chickens with your heads cut off- but now, it’s not so fun. Especially when your blog is threatened by every cheerleader in a five metre distance. Yes, I see you, ready to spout out some evil comment about how I’m some little loser who doesn’t know shit and is so beneath you.

                If only you knew.

                Actually, someone has finally figured out whom Little Socially Awkward is. And he has a name. You may recognize the name from many of my previous rants, but what kind of person would I be if I gave away who it was? Tsk, tsk. Not one whose protecting her identity, that’s for sure. 

                Now, now, don’t think he’s on my side. He’s all but ready to jump at the chance to scream out my name in public and tell everyone who this bitch that ruined everyone’s lives is. I just wanted to give you a heads up.

                You are all going to be very disappointed when you find out who I am. I’m just putting that out there.

                So, this is my last blog post. Three months is a really long time, don’t you think?

                Goodbye, intergalactic spider webs. I will not be missing you.

                Love,

                                Socially Awkward.

                I stared at my last post, sighing in extreme defeat. I was beat at my own game. Of all people, it had to be the one person that I had mentioned way more times than necessary. The one that I spoke my mind most about. He really had to figure it out, didn’t he?

                The save button was sitting there, begging me for me to click it. I moved my mouse over the button and let it hover over it.

                Was this really worth posting? Did I have to let everyone know that I was disappearing for good?

                Yes, I did.

                My finger pressed into the white plastic and I flinched at the loud clicking sound it made- the sound too loud in my quiet room.

                Pushing away from my desk, I spun away from the old desktop computer with a tower the size of an elephant. My home for three months. It was also yet another thing in my life that was falling apart.

                My few friends would now know it was me who was saying things about them that no one knew. Who was going behind their back and giving information away about them.

                The sad part was that in order for me to keep my identity a secret- I had to talk shit about everyone. Not one person in the twelfth grade was safe.

                I stood up from my chair and swallowed the large lump in my throat as I stepped in front of my floor length mirror. It was covered by a dark curtain I had ripped off my window months ago. I hadn’t looked at myself in a mirror in three weeks now. But I had to see myself now.

                I ripped off the curtain and took a step back, examining myself.

                A sob ripped out from my throat as I stared at this- person. If I could even call it that. I was disgusting. A horribly disgusting, hideous, repulsive human being.

                Throwing the curtain back over the torture device, I spun away from the now covered mirror and over to my plain white wall. I slid down it and stared at my hands, hands that typed out more gossip than anyone had ever spoken in their entire lives.

                I had hurt so many people.

                All because I had “emotional pain.” And trust issues to boot.

                The only reason Riley had found out that I was Socially Awkward was because I wouldn’t even let him into my room. He was my mom’s best friend’s son, and their family had been over for dinner last night- when he finally figured it out.

                The one boy who actually paid attention to me, talked to me at school, the one boy who I had started to trust- I ruined everything. Just because I wanted to talk shit about everyone I knew on some stupid blog. Because I thought I knew everything about everyone, including Riley.

                Because I wanted to feel better about myself.

                Another sob wracked my body.

                I had never felt worse about myself in my entire life.

*****

yeah, new story, not sure what to classify it as other than teen fiction, and sort of romance.. so yeah, guess it's going under that lol so  

this story is going to have some issues in it that are sort of close to home so please don't criticize them, criticize the story if you have to.

thanks for reading! hopefully I'll be able to put up the next chapter soon, but probably not for a while.