i felt like shit for the rest of the day.
tegan's words hit me really hard
"you are a self centered prick that can't see anything over your huge ego, all you care about is yourself and i don't know how anyone can stand that"
"i am not a self centered prick" i thought to himself
"calum don't let what she said to you get to your head, you aren't anything she said" luke said.
"luke she was my best friend and now she hates me, and she has a good reason why too"
"calum seriously you have a bunch of other girls who like you, so whats wrong with just one girl hating you?"
"luke, did you hear her! she was so pissed off, and i was the one who caused that, its all my fucking fault" i put my face in my hands.
luke didn't say anything else, not wanting to aggravate me anymore.
seeing tegan in so much pain hurt me so much. knowing that i was the cause hurt me even more. tegan felt like she was forgotten and it was all my fault
the thing is i never forgot about her.
her smile lights up my world, even though she doesn't smile that often. probably also caused by me.
her green are something you can get lost into. they are like a forest, greener even.
her jet black hair. her tangled hair that can never be tamed. she always used to talk about how her hair will always be messy no matter how much she brushed it.
i miss her. a lot.
now you guys are probably wondering why i left her.
peer pressure is a bitch.
i never wanted to leave her, tegan meant so much to me but, as tegan said, i am a self-centered and egotistical. i put myself first and didn't realize the consequences until afterwards. i felt like tegan would be okay without me. but she obviously isn't.
my thoughts were interrupted by the final bell signaling for all the students to get into their seats.
as the teacher began to speak a girl walked in. breathing heavily.
"sorry i'm late mr. paren, i was really caught up in what i was doing"
"its fine tegan, just take a seat next to calum"
once tegan heard him say that her smile turned into a frown, but being the goodie goodie she is, she sat down next to calum.
"hey teg-"
"i don't want to talk to you calum please leave me alone"
with that i backed off. tegan already blew up on me at lunch and i didn't want it to happen again.
throughout the whole class, i couldn't take m eyes off of tegan. everything she did made my heart flutter. the way she bit her lip every time she was confused, or how close she got to her paper every time she was focused. her eyes were red, probably calums fault. like always.
she was crying.
the dismissal bell rang, and everyone got up and packed up.
"hey tegan are you okay?" i asked.
tegan ignored me, obviously not wanting to talk to me.
"i'm sorry tegan, how many times do i have to say it?"
"how many times do i have to say that sorry doesn't cut it calum? and why now? why do you want to talk to me now? was it a dare? just like it was when you left me?"
she knew.
"tegan what do you me-"
"i know you were dared to leave me and tell me i wasn't your friend anymore calum"
"how did you-"
"word spreads fast calum, i may have no friends but i still hear the gossip around the school,"
"i'm sure you have friends tegan"
"i actually don't calum, once you left the others followed"
"im sorr-" i stopped myself before i said it again.
"bye calum my ride is waiting for me" i could tell she was lying but i was pretty sure she just wanted to leave
"tegan you drive yourself home"
"yes i do, bye" with that tegan walked off.
i walked to my car and just sat in there for like 15 minutes wondering what i could do to fix all these broken pieces between the two of them.
because saying sorry wasn't enough.
obviously.
