Secret Love

__HE was my dream__

Lydia had to leave quickly. Being with a werewolf was the worst thing she could do at that moment.  That was why she told Scott she was going to head off herself and not to worry about her. She told Kira and him to have fun and that she would see them tomorrow also. She needed time to think and just let all this anger out. Lydia walked outside and began to head down the street. She could feel how everything was becoming to much for her. Keeping her cool at the human and werecoyote couple. It was starting to get in her way. Here she was pushing Parrish away while Stiles made out with his girlfriend and she was left on the side lines. She saw the way he was kissing her and it tore at her heart. She knew she shouldn't really be upset since she was just the other woman but she truly believed she was the one for him. He had proclaimed his love for her for so long that she believed him when he said it would always be her. When in reality it wasn't so. She was meant to be left behind.

Lydia so badly wanted to spend the night with him but she knew that he already found someone else to lay beside. It hurt and it was what made her see the truth behind all the heartfelt lies they shared since he rescued her. It made sense that after that one night he finally got her out of his system. But the reality felt like sand was being poured into her eyes. Painful. No matter how much she cried the sand would not go away. It was time to say goodnight to that dream of happiness with Stiles. She was without him. Lydia felt completely dumb for thinking she could be happy. It was a ridicules idea. Stiles was to good for her and she needed to get that through her head. Lydia decided in that moment that she was stronger then how she was acting. She told herself that if she could get over a prick like Jackson and the death of Aiden how could she not get over Stiles. But that was the thing. Stiles was there for her in everyone of those momemts. So her heart knew it was different. She was truly and irrevocably in love with Stiles Stilinki and that was the big difference.

Thats what she got for finally figuring out that the boy who gave her his love so long ago and was who she was meant to be with would moved on. She was doomed to Misery now that he had left with the key to her freedom. His love. Allison had once said, "Remember what it feels like, All those times in school when you see him standing down the hall and you cannot breathe until you're with him. Or, those times in class when you can't stop looking at the clock because you know he's standing right out there waiting for you. Don't you remember what that's like?" She remembered telling her "...No" and Allison was so shocked that she had replied, "What do you mean No, you've had boyfriends" and she had clearly said "Not like that."

Not until Stiles rooted himself in her heart did she know what her best friend meant. Stiles had been the key to the door of her heart that hadn't been open in the first place. He was who gave her faith and when she ever doubted in herself he would turn it into hope. But now, now she was left broken and her happiness had turned to rivers of tears on an unknown street. Where was Stiles when she needed him. He was with his werecoyote girlfriend thats where.  He was were he belonged and she was were she belonged herself. Lost. Alone. Without love. Lydia had stopped at an unknown park and just cried. Those beautiful memories would never return again and the sad part of it all was she just gave her heart to be broken again. It was unrepairable. With her phone still on her she called a cab and gave the name of the park she was located at once she knew it's name. When the cab came to pick her up she got in and gave her address to the cabbie. As the car moved Lydia remembered Parrish's offer. 'Maybe after everything works out we can leave beacon hills for good.'

Lydia decided she would take him up on that offer. That she would start looking for another apartment in another city or better yet state. Maybe she should leave for a few days to start looking and be able to think clearly. The cab soon arrived at Lydia's house making her pay him and get out. As soon as she walked into her house she yelled out, "Mom?" There was no reply to reach her ear. Lydia sighed in relief and rushed to her room to get ready and met Parrish. She took out a knitted sweater, blue jeans and switched her bag to her shoulder length brown bag. Seeing that she still had time Lydia walked into her room and noticed how her faced looked. Her eyes were watery and her mascara ran down her check leaving a black trail in its path. Pushing her hair back she decided to wash her face until none of her pain was noticeable. As she patted her face with a clean towel she looked back in the mirror and noticed she looked like her clean self but her light had gone and there was no way of getting it back. She changed into her outfit and decided to add some lip gloss to not seem to plain. Once she was down she walked down to the front door and left.