Saving My Hope

Chapter 13-Ride Hard Or Go Home(2)

Part 2

**Joel Goran P.O.V**

"What the hell!" Dana says, clearly angry with me as she leads me and Reid into her office.
"She still has some feeling in her legs" Dr Reid says.
"But she wont be able to use them" I add.
Alex had to sub in.
She wasnt who I needed but it was better than no one.
Shaneria couldn't be reached and wasnt in the hospital where shes suppose to be.
We had no idea where she was and because of her sudden 'disappearance', the surgery went wrong.
"What happened in there!?" Dana shouts.
"I hit an artery" I admit.
"Dr Goran isn't responsible, the wire was bound in the drill and it bounced into the retroperitoneal space" Dr Reid backs me up.
"I caused the laceration to the iliac artery and couldn't control the bleeding" I continue.
"And I was called in. We opened her up and got control" Alex finished a huff.
"Where the hell is specialist Dr Blenco in this?" Dana asks us.
Alex looks to me and I shrug "we paged her numerous times and called her cell but there was no response, so I had to get Reid".
"She could of saved your ass, Joel. Mine too. Its a shame she didn't. She better be dead" Dana snaps.
I look down.
"Why did you go ahead with this surgery?" She asks me, not really wanting an amswer.
"You told me to start listening to my patients and this is what the patient wanted" I answer.
"So this is my fault, youre telling me" she says in annoyance to my words.
"Thats not what Im saying" I reply.
"It was a freak occurrence" Alex pipes up.
"Yeah you mentioned" she replies, unamused.
"I discussed the various options with my patient, Dana, and this is what we came up with together" I explain calmly.
"Well, tell you what. For the next few months, I want those options discussed with me too. Every surgery you book, you walk it theough me first" Dana tells me, seriously with a hurt ego.
"Fine" I state.
"Then we're done here" she says and then turns her back to us both.
Alex is the first to walk out of the office and I immediately follow, not happy myself.
"Its not your fault, Joel. We all have recognized complications. You-you couldn't have done anything more" Alex tells me as we walk down the hall, slowly.
"My head's not in the game anymore. It hasn't been for a while" I voice.
"Its just a rough patch. Every surgeon goes through them" she tells me.
"I just feel like working here is destroying my instinct, you know?" I sigh.
"Okay, you know what? it wasn't your fault! Shan was an here and I wasn't the person you needed and shit happens-" but I cut her off, "My patient is paralyzed, Alex".
"Youre a great surgeon, Joel" she tells me, trying to make me feel better.
"Yeah well, great surgeons dont let what happened today, happen" I tell her.
"You saved her life. Thank you" I finish, giving up the argument and walk away from her.

**Shaneria Blenco P.O.V**

The paramedics arrived and had Esther quickly yet gently loaded onto the stretcher.
Once at the hospital, Gavin leads Roy to Admitting.
I pull the stretcher with one of the paramedics.
"Where are they taking him?" Esther asks me, nervous.
"To admitting, Esther" I tell her.
"He cant go to jail" she whines.
"Hes not going to jail" I assure.
"He'll forget to take his baby aspirin" she says.
"Hes just gonna spend the night in the hospital. He'll be fine" I smile and we wheel her away for x rays of her hip.

After her x rays, I set her up with Dr Nate McCall.
I meet up with Gavin after his boss called him in.
"Im late for rounds with Kinney! She's gonna kill me" I whine, walking faster.
I look behind me and see Gavin seem not so happy like his usual self.
"You okay, Gav?" I ask.
He looks up and answers "yup. No...I dont know".
We stop at a nearby wall and he cups his one hand to his forehead.
"Tell me" I say, feeling bad for encouraging him to leave the hospital.
"Thanks for coming. I-It was a complete disaster but you had my back, so I owe you one" he says and pockets his hands.
"No. No. You dont owe me anything, Murphy. Just promise me that you won't let your dumb boss knock you down" I smile and touch his arm as a friendly gesture.
He nods with a grin and says, "promise".
"See ya later alligator" I cheer and walk to the emergency floor.