I'm Not a Slut, I Swear

32. I'M NOT A SLUT I SWEAR : Cold Bodies in a Hot Room

Gerald

She closes the distance between us in a heartbeat, her cheeks a perfect rose color. In a flash her lips have landed on mine, and my hands have come down on either side of her on the bed. Steadying myself.

A moan leaves her mouth, and suddenly I'm being kissed and then...I start to kiss her back. Her hands leave my cheeks and drift up to my hair, which she tangles her fingers in easily. A slight growl leaves my lips and I lean down, pushing her down onto the bed with my body, climbing on top of her. Abruptly, this strange need for her came over me. She bites down on my bottom lip, and I part mine so that her tongue can explore my mouth.

It takes me a moment to realize that if she's sick I am too now.

She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me even further down onto her, another moan leaving her mouth. I can practically hear my heart racing.

"Oh, holy shit! What the fuck, Gerald? Couldn't keep it in your pants?" I pause, my mouth still on Alice's. Me, still over her. Now, my hands are on either side of her head. I open my eyes to find an extremely arousing expression on Alice's face. It was cute but sexy at the same time. I pull away from Alice, disconnecting our mouths, a little line of saliva connecting us. She lets out a tiny dissatisfied groan and then turns over on her side, her eyes closing.

"What the hell was that?" Ginger asks, and I turn towards her, feeling the blush on my cheeks. I stare at her eyes wide, and lift a hand touching my tingling lips.

"I don't know." But I hope it happens again. At that Ginger turns a curious gaze onto Alice.

"I wonder if she should really get better." At that my eyebrows furrow.

"Why?"

"Because when she remembers that she kissed you and that she has a boyfriend I don't really think she'll want to see you again." At her words my heart clench in my chest and I let my hand drop to my side, though my lips are still tingly.

The feeling of her warm lips over my own.

It wasn't something I would give up so easily.

"Also," she says, turning towards me. "Aren't you going to get sick now?"

***

Alice

I wake for the second time, except this time my head feels as though it's going to explode and I feel warm. Too warm.

I open my eyes to find another pair in front of mine. Familiar eyes. Gerald's eyes.

"Gerald." I moan, mostly in pain. I blink at him, seeing the concern in his eyes.

"Alice, your fever went up. The party's over and it's about 12. I can take you home, but is there anyone else to take care of you." At the question my heart skips a beat, and I look away from him, my eyes on the window past him.

"No, no one."

"Your parents aren't home." I shake my head, lifting a hand to cover my hot face.

"No. They're both...somewhere." I lower my hand to place my hand on my lips. For some reason they felt tingly, and warm. But it didn't feel like it was the fever that caused it. In front of me Gerald blushes and looks away. "My lips feel strange." I say, and he leans away from me. I watch him, feeling slightly suspicious. Why did it feel like he did something...?

Maybe, I did something.

It felt as though something happened when I woke up last time, but what?

"Do they?" He asks, and I narrow my eyes at him. I still feel tired, but I know he's acting strange. I sit up then, and turn towards him.

"What's wrong?" I ask, resting my hands on my lap. He doesn't respond and he doesn't meet my gaze either, making me frown again. "Gerald, please look at me at least. I don't like it when you don't pay attention to me." Just like that his gaze snaps to mine.

"Alice," he says, his gaze hesitant. "Am I wrong?"

"About what Gerald?"

"Do you remember when I said that I had my eyes on you, and only you?" At that my heart picks up speed and I nod, looking away from him. In truth I did remember it. It was something that rattled me, because it brought something up I didn't want to discuss.

Love.

"Well, I want to know if you understand. If you really understand how I feel about you. Do you? Do you know how much I li-" I slam my hand over his mouth, now leaning down towards him.

"Don't say it, Gerald. Say it and you can't take it back." At that anger enters his gaze, but it fades when he reaches for my hand, pulling it off of his face. Slowly, he swallows and intertwines our fingers. He glances down at the ground before continuing. He opens his mouth to keep going, but I get up quickly. Neither of us says anything as I walk around him, my steps unstable. "I have to go." I say, trying to get my stuff off of the ground, but my head is pounding and I can't see five feet in front of me.

Just as I'm about to pass out again, an arm wraps around my waist, keeping me standing up straight. I find myself staring into Gerald's concerned eyes.

"You're not going anywhere. You can't." I shake my head.

"I can just call Riley. He'll take care of me." At that he pauses, and drops his head, biting his bottom lip. When he lifts his head again I see tears in his eyes.

"But I don't want him to. I want to take care of you, Alice. I like you. I really like you, and I know you're dating him, but I think you like me too. I think you just don't want to admit it. I think...I think...I think, I really care about you, Alice. Too much for my own good." At that I smile sadly at him, his arm still around my waist.

"You're probably right, Gerald. I don't think loving me will have anything good come out of it for you." At that his brow furrows, and I start to feel light headed.

"Why? What if loving you is the good thing I want? What if it's all I want? To be able to hold you. To love you. In more ways than one. What if I...what if I do love you, Alice?" And that's it. I pass out in his arms, my cheeks flushed then more than ever.

Once again I feel as though I'm being submerged in water. Slowed down.

Love...

Maybe, I'm too loose with the word. Or maybe, I'm too tight with it.

Maybe, I don't like it because everyone who was supposed to love me turned their back on me.

They'd all broken an oath called 'love'.

Love was my enemy, and I feared it.