Decisions for Withdrawal (Alice in Chains)

Betrayal

I couldn't believe Jerry and I had sex. It had been so long I thought it was a joke at first. For the next couple of days after, Jerry acted completely different. He was was definitely going through withdrawal and I didn't understand how he could be handling it so well. He made dinner three nights in a row.

One night after work, I stopped to get gas, and my card didn't work. It was declined. I had to use my credit card which I absolutely hate doing. I was already so behind on all my other bills. When I got home, I was exhausted. Jerry noticed my change in mood. At least he noticed that time.

"What's wrong?" he asked as we sat down.

"My card got rejected at the gas station. I'm gonna have to go to the bank tomorrow."

"Oh really? That sucks."

"Yeah I've never had a problem with it. I have enough on it for emergencies so it's not because I don't have enough money."

"That's strange," Jerry said, looking down at his plate.

We finished dinner and got ready for bed. Jerry flipped for no reason. He flipped because there weren't towels in the bathroom after he took a shower. He ran into the hall closet to grab one.

"That's fuckin' ridiculous, Liv!" he yelled.

He was yelling at me for this?

"Oh I'm sorry," I said sarcastically. "It's my job to make sure there are towels in the bathroom? I'm not a maid, Jerry."

He was fuming. He started to grunt harshly as his footsteps sounded like they were going to break the floor. He raised his fist and swung it across my face. I wasn't fast enough to dodge it this time. I winced and held my head in my hand.

"You don't talk to me like that!"

I started crying when the burn on my skin settled and sunk deep into my face.

"Don't fuckin' cry," Jerry yelled, striking me again, making me fall to the floor.

I laid there, unable to move for a couple of seconds.

"Get the hell out," he asked, kicking my sides. I knew already that I was bruised.

I slowly got up and gathered my things. I slammed the front door behind me and cried on the drive to Layne's. I wiped my eyes as I knocked on his front door. They felt swollen; I could see my eyelids drooping before me.

Layne gasped when he saw me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. We both sat on the couch and he didn't say anything. I held my face in my hand; it hurt so badly. I felt the couch move; Layne had gotten up and moved toward the kitchen. His footsteps got closer again and the couch cushion moved.

Layne grabbed my hand and pulled it away from my face. He put a washcloth with ice in it on my cheek.

"Oww..." I said, sucking in my teeth.

"Sorry," Layne pouted.

I held the washcloth there.

"I can't believe he did this to you...well, actually I can. There's already a mark there."

My burning tears ran down my face. I fell into him.

"Aw...Liv," he said, removing the washcloth for a second and holding me close.

Layne rocked me back and forth. I brushed my thumb over the mark on my face but Layne took it away. He leaned over and kissed my cheek but quickly pulled back.

"Sorry," he laughed nervously.

"No," I smiled slightly. "That felt good. Do it again."

Layne grabbed my arms gently and moved in, kissing my cheek again. It made me smile again. We both moved our heads closer at the same time. Our lips touched and I smiled. I didn't feel guilty because it just felt so right. Layne smiled too; I could feel it.

My hands traveled all over him. His traveled all over me. He began to lift up my shirt from the bottom over my head. I did the same with his shirt.

"Damn," he whispered. "You are so fuckin' beautiful. I can't believe he hurt that face."

I stood up a bit to take off my jeans and underwear. He was faster than me so as soon as I was done, Layne pulled me back on the couch. I squealed a little as I eyed and stared him down from head to toe. I stopped halfway down. He laughed. We were both panting very hard.

"I'm ready...right now..." I gasped.

"As you can see," he smirked, "so am I."

Layne slowly eased himself into me.

"Shit..." I moaned.

"You okay?"

I nodded my head as I moved my face close to his neck before sucking on it. I moved up and down. Layne grabbed my face and pressed his lips against mine. I felt his tongue enter my mouth; I felt his hot breath. The ocean waves of sweat on our bodies collided.

He pulled away for a second. "I'm gonna...c..cum..."

I smiled.

"Me too," I gasped.

Layne started to shake. He was right there with me. Then, I suddenly started to shake too. I held onto his shoulders tightly. His fingers were buried in my hair. I collapsed on his chest and we both relaxed until we fell asleep on the couch.

When I woke up very early the same morning, what I had done hit me hard. It didn't feel real at the time, but at this moment it did, after the fact.

"Shit..."I gasped, grabbing all my clothes off the floor and putting them on.

Layne woke up immediately.

"Olivia are you okay?"

"What did I do?" I panicked as I ran around the house, looking for all my things.

"Liv, wait," Layne said, putting on his boxers.

"I have to go," I said, with a lump in my throat.

Layne chased me and grabbed my arms. I tried to fight it.

"Take a couple of breaths, okay?" he said. "It's gonna be alright."

"I need to go," I cried as I pulled away and left.

I left to get a hotel room a couple of miles away. I cursed the entire way there. I really fucked up. I betrayed Jerry.