Once was lost but saved by a cowboy

I am ready to quit

Jason's pov

I'm attempting to change Sierra's diaper but she won't stop moving around. "Darn it, squirmy sit still!" I gasp. Miranda walks over. "Here I got it." She says, my face getting red. "I guess I'm a little rusty on this whole parenting thing." I mumble embarrassed. "Don't worry honey, you have eight months to practice." She says, patting my head. "Ha ha, I love you too honey." She laughs and changes her diaper. "Ok squirt this time you're keeping your clothes on." I say, pulling an outfit out of her diaper bag. She eyes me then takes off running. I sigh. "This kid is gonna be the death of me." "I have her." Miranda says, kissing my cheek and walking after her. Man I'm glad everything is back to normal between us. I just worry she's gonna tell me to quit smoking again. If that happens, I know I'll get all pissy again.

Miranda's pov

I get Sierra in her car seat and Jason gets in the driver's side. "First I have to go quit my job at that bar then we can do whatever." I say, climbing in the passenger side. We drive there and I tell the boss that I quit. I wave to Rachel and go back out to Jason's truck. I try not to get pissed off seeing him smoke a cigarette. I sigh and fight back my anger. I get back in his truck, glancing back at Sierra. She's playing with a barbie doll. I stare out the window until he puts it out. I don't know how to get through to him. For right now though I keep my mouth shut. "So what are we doing?" He asks. "I don't really care." I mutter, staring out the window.

Jason's pov

Uh oh she sounds pissed off. Eh, it's probably just hormones. It's been a while since I dealt with a pregnant woman so I don't really remember what it's like. I decide on taking them out to lunch so we go to huddle house. As I'm browsing through the menu, Sierra jumps out of her seat. "I have to go potty!" Miranda takes her to the bathroom. I drum my fingers on the table waiting when Luke comes in. "Hey bro." He says, waving. I wave too and he sits down. "What's new?" "Well this might come as a shock to you but I got a girl pregnant." "Ugh again?" I laugh. "Seriously?" "So who's the unlucky lady?" I shove him. "Shut up Luke." He's about to reply when they come back. "Oh.... OH!" He stands up quickly and grabs my arm. "What are you doing?" "We should talk!" "Fine!" He pulls me away. "What the hell man? Let go of me!" "That's the same controlling girl who caused you to become an alcoholic!" He gapes. "Shut up man! She doesn't know about that! Just stay out of my business!" I walk back to the table. "What was that about?" She asks. Sierra cralws into my lap. I smile and pat her back. "Nothin'. Luke's just being an ass." Just then the food arrives.

*later*

Luke calls me, I put it on speaker. "You aren't gonna become a wreck if she dumps you again are you?" Crap! Both girls look at me oddly. Dammit Luke. "I wasn't a wreck! Stop bringing that up!" I hang up and put my phone down. "What was that?" I sigh and stand up. "Off to bed Sierra." I say, picking her up. I put her to bed then go to my room which she follows. "Are you gonna tell me?" Ugh. "Darlin' can't this wait til tomorrow?" "No!" "Fine, ok, I was a wreck after you left. I drank all night and slept all day. I was almost always either drunk or hungover! I crashed after you broke up with me. I crashed hard!" I turn around, she's staring at me shocked, her jaw drops. "Wow.... I didn't.... I didn't know you loved me that much." "Of course... I do. I love you." A single tear falls from her eye. "Oh baby don't start crying. If you start crying, I'll start crying and that ain't very manly." She laughs, covering up a sob. "Come here, hun." She walks over and hugs me. My arms around her waist, her head against my chest. "I love you too." She whispers. I kiss her head. "Come on let's go to bed. It's been a long day."

*in his dream*

I am sitting in the bar, drowning my sorrows with shots of whiskey when Luke's song home alone tonight comes on. "We'll go shot for shot for shot til we forgot what we came here to forget! It ain't a clock a tick a tock that's gonna stop a night we won't regret. So put your drink down throw your camera up." I do exactly what the song says since I'm too drunk to even think. But I don't send a picture anywhere I just take it.

*he wakes up*

Ooh that was a weird dream. I hear Sierra wake up. I walk down the hall to her room. Miranda's already in there. She's singing something to her. "She changed it all when she couldn't change me." An old Montgomery Gentry song. She gets Sierra back to bed and I walk back to our room. I pretend to be asleep. "Jay, are you awake?" "Yeah." She sits down, her legs under her, looking worried. "What's wrong hun?" I ask, propping my head up on my hand. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to change you. You were so good to me, taking me in when I needed help and I was being rude by saying all that I said." Wow. I am really caught off guard. I sit up. She's right about one thing though. I need to stop smoking. They're gonna end up killing me. And I certainly don't wanna die early. I grab her hand. "Baby you're right. I need to quit smoking. It's dumb and not safe. I'll do whatever I can and I'll try my damndest not to blow up at you and Sierra. It puts me in a temper when I don't have nicotine after having been smoking for so long but I will do it for you and Sierra and our kid on the way." She hugs me. "You're a great man." I hold her tight. "Only when I'm with you baby, only when I'm with you."