A Little More You (Jonathan Toews)

Chapter 16

A/N: this chapter is a glimpse into Mati's past and explains the dreams from earlier...it's a little different from the other chapters.

What felt like 5 minutes later, Jon woke up to Mati whimpering and twisting in his arms. She had tear stains on her face.

"Mati....Mati baby" Jon tried to gently shake her and wake her up to no avail.

"Mati....hey you gotta wake up okay?" He tried again.

"Mati, wake up sweet girl. I'm here...I'm here." This time worked. She say straight up and started hyperventilating. Jon just rubbed her back. She looked over at him and her eyes went wide.

"Jon I'm so-sorry" she said as her eyes welled up with tears again.

He just pulled her into him and kissed her forehead.

"Bad dream?"

She nodded still fighting tears.

"Same one as that night I called you?"

Mati somberly nodded.

"It's more than just a falling dream, isn't it?"

She closed her eyes and nodded once more.

"Talk to me about it babe?" He prodded.

She looked at him with sad eyes.

"It's kind of dumb. Or so I've been told." She said with a hint of anger in her voice.

"Nothing that affects you like this is dumb."

She glanced at him warily and took a shaky breath.

"Are you really sure? It's a long story...let's save it. We have to be up early tomorrow and-"

He cut her off with a kiss.

"Tell me."

She took another deep breath.

"Jon I've told you a lot, but I haven't told you about why I wanted-no, needed, to get out of McKinley. There were two reasons and this is one...."

She looked to Jon, silently asking if he was still willing to go down this road. He urged her on. This was obviously a big part of her.

She pulled up her shirt to reveal a small tattoo just under her left side of her rib cage. It was a small, intricate cross with AJP under it and two dates under it. There was a quote under it too that Jon couldn't make out in the darkness of the room.

"Who is that?" Jon asked.

"AJ. and that's where this all begins."

"McKinley is a small town. You know that. I graduated with 24 kids. I knew everyone my whole life, but during my sophomore year, I started noticing this boy who was a junior more. He apparently started noticing me too, and a few months later we started dating."

Her lip was trembling. Jon squeezed her.

"We were together for almost two years. I thought I was going to marry him, Jon, I really did. He did too. We talked about it. He knew I wanted to go to Nashville and he supported it and was willing to make it work but I didn't care if I went or not because I knew I would be happy with him no matter what."

She was shaking in his arms.

"His family had a ranch and we just figured we would end up being together forever and take it over and raise babies together."

She let out a little laugh.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm telling you this part..." She suddenly stopped.

"Mati." Jon said as he squeezed her hand. "It's a part of you. I want to know every part both good and bad."

She nodded. "Things were good. Yeah we fought like anyone else but even being 17, I really thought 'this was it'".

Mati paused to take a deep breath. When she looked at Jon, he saw the pain in her eyes and it killed him. He brushed a few tears away from her cheeks.

"It was good until August 4th of the summer after he graduated."

Jon held her as tight as he possibly could.

"That night, I was exhausted. I had worked the diner and the grocery store that day. He called me around 9 to see if I wanted to ride with him and his best friend, Jeremy, to a party out of town. It was usual for their to be something going on every weekend around McKinley so missing one wasn't a big deal and I wasn't a partier anyway. I told him no."

She shook her head.

"We texted a little bit that night. He said it was boring, he wished he would have just come stayed with me. He offered to take me out for breakfast the next morning before church. I fell asleep in the middle of texting him."

Her body was tense in Jon's arms.

"The next thing I remember was someone banging on the door. I got up and went downstairs to find out who was at the house in the middle of the night. My step-dad was at the door talking to a deputy...when they both noticed me, I could see that whatever was coming next wasn't good. I knew the deputy pretty well, he came into the diner a lot and we all knew everyone well...small town problems. He knew that AJ and I were dating...." she trailed off.

"I don't even remember what he said. I just remember collapsing and agreeing to get in the squad to go to AJ's house. I just laid on the floor with his sister and sobbed all night."

Jon interrupted her. "Mat, what happened to him?" he asked gently.

She sighed. "He and Jeremy left the party that night and less than a mile from town, th-they rolled the truck and he was killed instantly. Jeremy survived but was thrown from the truck. A car passing by saw them a little while later."

The pair sat in silence for awhile, the only sounds were the whimpers and sobs coming from Mati.

"They never figured out what happened, ya know? Neither of them had any drugs in their system...both had alcohol but well below the limit...there's really no animals on that road...no skid marks or anything. Speed wasn't a factor. Jeremy was so shocked he didn't remember anything."

"I went to the funeral home with his family to...make arrangements. I saw his body before it had been....prepared? I still see it, Jon. I won't ever forget it."

Jon had tears in his eyes. His heart broke for her. It had been bad enough doing that for his grandmother, let alone being 17 and watching your world collapse.

"I always wondered what if he had stayed with me? What if I had gone with? Maybe this wouldn't have happened. It took me a day to check my phone after it had all happened. The last text I had from him he had sent after I fell asleep. Good night baby. I can't wait to see you in the morning. Always remember, no matter what happens in life, I will always love you angel."

"It's almost like he knew something was up." she observed sadly.

Jon was out of words. All he could do was pour as much love on her as possible right now.

She looked at him with bloodshot, puffy eyes.

"Thank you. For listening. For not telling me to get over it."

"Mati. Always. Always will I be here for you babe."

He kissed her deeply, trying to convey everything he felt for her at that moment into that touch. She snuggled in closer to him and tried to fall back asleep.