Hold My Heart Like A Hand Grenade:

All By Myself

So, the day proceeded slowly and I dragged myself through each class. Eventually, I got to 4th period, lunch. Now most kids get really excited and love their lunch period. It's their favorite part of the day and well, they anticipate it. Not me. You see, I'm the new kid. I mean think about it, why do kids love lunch so much? Well for one things there's no work. For another, friends. You get to spend practically a whole hour doing nothing but chilling and talking to your friends. Now you can see why I hate this part of the day, I have no friends. I know what you're thinking, 'what about Sara?' Well, for one thing this isn't some fake tv shit where the best friends have all there classes together and for another, we are not best friends. She just happens to be the only person at this school that I know and don't particularly hate...For now. So anyways, I dragged myself to the second worst part of every new students day, the first being the bus ride, and I searched the room for a seat.

I scanned the cafeteria and ended up dividing it into a few specific categories. Number one, the populars. Otherwise know as the bitches, this was the group I designated to cheerleaders and football star who were people I didn't exactly see eye to eye with. Then of course you've got the nerds. Pretty self-explanitory if you ask me. After that you've got some smaller groups like the goths, the preppy kids, the outcasts, the pretty girls, the 'hot shot' guys, and the rest of them. I know it's not good to judge people but it's pretty clear who's who in high school. In Jr.High the only way you know if a kid is a queer is if he tells you, but in High School you can basically just look at the kid and know he's a fag. Sometimes you even know before they do. Not that I have anything against gays, it's nothing like that. I'm just saying, in High School it's ok to judge people like that because they pretty much categorize themselves and all you've gotta do is label them. So as I was saying, I scanned and judged my options. Not to great if you ask me. So, I pulled my lunch out of my bag and went to sit down at an empty table. About two tables behind me sat the three boys who were joined by another. I tried not to pay them any attention because I didn't want them to think I was trying. I walked right by them, sat down at my lonely loser table, pulled out my lunch, headphones, and notebook, and began to draw and eat while I drowned myself in Billie's voice. Ironically, Billie's voice was not the first thing that I heard, it was Tré's. Now if you've ever heard the amazing voice of Tré Cool then you may already know what makes this situation even more ironic. As I sat, all by myself, Tré's beautifully pitchy voice rang out in my ears singing his song, 'All By Myself.'

I began to giggle a little at the sound of his voice singing losely about my current situation. The only difference being that I was not having an erection thinking about a girl whom I may or may not have been stalking. Ok so maybe the situations were very different, but it still made me smile hearing his voice. As I looked up to grab my water bottle I was startled to find a boy sitting across from me blabbing away. I pulled a headphone out of my ear and said "What?" In what had to be the dumbest way possible. The boy looked at me for a moment, probably because he realized that I hadn't heard a word he just said, and then burst out laughing. While normally this would have pissed me off, it gave me a chance to look him over. He looked extreamly familiar. Not like I'd seen him before but like he resembled someone. Finally he stopped laughing and said "Hey. The name's Joey and uh...Well my friends over there told me what happened in homeroom today. Is it true? Did you really school Mallory like that?" He seemed so interested and, I'm not gonna lie, he was pretty cute. He wasn't all that tall but he had the most amazing hazel-ish eyes ever, I couldv'e stared into them for hours. On top of that, his hair was just long enough for his slight blonde curls to come through the back side of his hat. So, rather than being a total bitch on him, and seeing how he came from the table of 'band boys' I needed to impress, I responded decently. "Uh, yeah. Something like that." I responded in a dazed state...He was just so cute and...Well I knew he reminded me of someone! "They said you told him to shut up and that you don't take shit from anyone. That's amazing! I mean he's actually a pretty cool guy but the things you said! I wish I was half as clever as that when he shot his sarcasm at me!" The boy, Joey, was going on and on babbling when he finally stopped and stared at me. He must've saw something in my eyes like I did in his because we both instantly shut up and just stared at eachother. Actually, it was pretty wierd if you ask me cuz we were both basically gauking at eachother, but that didn't seem to matter.

After what couldv'e been hours but was actually only minutes I figured it out. "Billie Joe Armstrong!" I said, so proud of myself for placing him. Joey snapped back to reality as quickly as I did and looked at me in an almost angry but not really kind of face. "Uh...What?" He asked, seeming confused. "Oh...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out it's just that this whole time you've reminded me of someone and I couldn't figure it out until just now." I explained to him. "You look just like a younger version of Billie Joe Armstrong, the lead singer of Green Day." Joey seemed to relax a little and even laughed a bit while he said, "Yeah, I know who he is. You like them?" He asked still a bit on edge. "Like them!" I said in my best 'dumb question kid' voice. "They're my idols! Billie is the reason I picked up my guitar and finally decided to express myself! They inspire me and I don't know where I'd be without them. Their music really has changed my life and I know they probably hear that a lot but if I could only tell them one thing, I would look straight into their eyes and say 'thank you.' Because they really have saved me. And on top of that their music is just amazing! I mean, there was no way in hell I was gonna move until my mom said Berkley. Berkley, California! The birth place of Green Day! And punk! I-" I stopped myself there because I was beginning to rant and ramble about it and I knew he didn't care that much. "Sorry" I said in a softer voice, partially because I was being so loud about Green Day that half the cafeteria was staring at me. "I can get a little carried away on them. It's just that they really are my idols." I looked down as I said that last part, more out of embarrasment and fear of already losing Joey than anything. Joey put his face real close to the table then, so he could look me in the eyes, and said, "It's cool. I get like that about my idols too and sometimes about Green Day. You must really like them." Before I had the chance to start a rant again about Billie he quickly said "Y'Know, there's an extra seat at our table if you wanna come sit with us." I looked up at him slowly and then back at the table he was at before. The three other boys still sitting there smiled back and waved. One even yelled "Hey Joey what'd you do? Scare her of rambling already!" The three boys laughed and another said "Sorry Sammi! He only rambles when he tries talking to pretty girls he likes!" I turned around to face Joey's blushing face as the three continued to laugh. Now it was Joey's turn to look at the table in embarassment. "Uh, sorry about them." He said almost inaudable. "Well the way your acting right now I'd say they're right about you only rambling to girls you like." I said in a joking way. Then, I grabbed my things, stood up, looked down at Joey and said "You coming?" He smiled at me for a minute then got up and led me to his table.

Maybe I was wrong about this time being the same as the last. I mean, I was off to a good start with Sara and Joey. Little did I know that there was much more to unfold and a big secret soon to be told.