"JimJam! C'mon your gonna be late for school!"
Things are starting to get bad so i just try and keep happy. JimJam is so sad he never wants to go to school. He wants to spend everyday with me which is cool. But i don't want him to miss school.
"Can't i stay home today? Please?"
He looks so desparate. I go upsatirs and ask dad. He doesn't care anymore. Since Mum left he doesn't care about much.
I can't do this anymore. JimJam will need him when im not here.
"Listen dad, you need to man up and get over her. You can't go on like this, JimJam will need you when im gone. I need you to be here for him and the baby when i'm gone. I need you to be here when im gone for everyone else. PLease dad..... PLease?"
"SHUT UP SARAH!! NO ONE CARES!!"
I can't breath. i cannot believe my father would say that to me.
"I'm so sorry. i didn't mean that. I am just so scared i can't handle this. I couldn't handle life without you being here. What am i going to do Sarah? Please don't leave me please don't go. i love you and need yout o help me. After your.... she died i was so depressed and couldn't look after JimJam and you helped me so much and i just don't know what i will do without you. Please Sarah please don't leave me please i need you.... oh god Sarah please don't go......"
He starts crying hysterically. I sit besdie him on the bed and hold him close to me and The Bump. I hold him for what seems like forever before JimJam walks in.
I gesture for him to come over. He starts crying, telling me not to go. i hate this illness. i don't want to leave them..... or Jai and my baby.
