Weightless

4

*WARNING CONTAINS PHYSICAL AND VERBAL ABUSE AS WELL AS SELF HARM*

In the middle of 8th period, John had received a notification to report to the principal's office.

He did so, and was sentenced a week's suspension.

The bell rang.

It was time to leave.

John didn't want to be at school, yet he didn't want to be at home either.

No.
It doesn't deserve to be called home.

Absolutely nothing there felt like home.
He dreaded going back to that horrid hell hole.

His house was in pretty bad shape- the front yard was a plot of dirt and mud, with a rotting tree on the side. Paint chipped from the outside paneling. The foundation was fracturing and most of the windows had cracks in them.

He sighed to himself and headed to the front of the school to meet up with his brother, Devin.

***

They stumbled up the front steps, trying to avoid the broken concrete.
John fumbled with his keys, looking for the right one.
John unlocked the the door and walked in.

Not even two feet into the doorway he was greeted with a backhand that knocked him off his feet.

It was his father.

John was disgusted that he was forced to refer him as that.

"Why the fuck do you have to cause trouble, boy?", his father yelled.

He reeked of alcohol and cigarette smoke.

"He started it", John said firmly.

"What are you, four? 'He started it!'", his father mocked. "Grow the fuck up. Your such a pathetic excuse for a son".

He scrunched John's shirt and pulled him to his feet.

"Next time you do something like that, well, there won't be a next time, will there?", he slurred.

"Yes, sir", John answered.

"Good. Now get me a beer", he ordered.

John didn't move.

"Do as you are told, fag!", his father growled.

"No. I'm not. I'm done with your shit. Why should I obey you? You have no respect for me - us. My mother took her own life because of you! You deserve to burn in hell! You're the one that should've died, not her!".

"Your mother was a slut!", his father yelled.

"No she wasn't! If anyone was the one that committed adultery, it would be you! You harassed her, abused her! You killed her you fucking asshole!"

"John stop!", Devin exclaimed.

"What!? Why are you defending this piece of shit!? All he's doing is taking advantage of us!", John choked.

Devin didn't say anything.

"Fine.", John said.

He grabbed his bag and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

He ran and ran, tears flooding his eyes.

~~~

He finally arrived at the junkyard that he always went to when he felt sad. There was something oddly nostalgic about it that made him feel like he belonged there.
There was a big oak tree in the middle of the all the old cars and rusty metal signs where he sat down and drew his feelings.

He sat dropped his bag down and sat at the base of the tree.
He wrapped his arms around his legs and brought them to his chest and started to sob.

You're worthless

You don't deserve to live anymore

You have no one, what's the point in staying here?

John opened his bag and shuffled through it , finding a pencil sharpener.

Don't do it.

But I must.

He undid the screw with his nail, taking out the blade.

He rolled up his sleeves and brought the blade closer to his skin when he heard something.

"John!", a voice called.

He ignored it, thinking he was imagining it.

Then he heard it again.

"John!"

It sounded closer this time.

John stood up, peering into the distance.

It was him.