Love Is Where You Find It

Part 3

Something finally has to give, because though it breaks her heart Loretta is almost certain that Doo isn't going to come back now. He never stays away this long. She often wonders where he is right now, what he's doing, wherever he might be. If he found himself another girl and if he's happier with her than he was with Loretta.

Their life isn't easy. She knows that and it's not that Doo is the only one who is working. She cleans house for neighbors, cooks, washes and irons for over thirty farm hands while trying to give her kids the attention they need. Maybe romance got lost in between everything else.

But he was the one who got to go out into town and come back drunk while she had to stay home with the children. Sometimes she'd lay in bed and have a hard time breathing while he was gone. She could only imagine what he was doing and that she didn't dare, because it hurt too much.

Doo still doesn't like her cooking, though the kids and the farm hands eat it. It's not as good as his mother's, but she does her best. She does her best most of the time. Not always though, and she knows that she should have and it might have made him second guess leaving them.

It's still cold and wet, but she sent the kids out to play for a while. It won't take long until one of them comes running back in because he or she is hungry, or cold, or fighting with someone.

She looks out the window to see Jack and Ernest chase each other across the lawn. Cissie is just standing there by a tree and she can't see Betty anywhere.

Loretta got a bottle of milk this morning. She's going to warm it up and soak some dry bread in it for the kids. She hasn't really eaten in a few days but she's not hungry anyway.

"Mommy!" Betty screams, causing Loretta to snap around. Her oldest runs in through the front door. "There's a man here to look at the boat."

"Hold on, honey. Mommy's comin." She runs over to the coat rack and pulls on her coat, slips into her cowboy boots. Loretta runs to the front door.

There stands a man in a tailored suit, his hair slicked to the side.

"You're here to see the boat, sir?" Loretta asks.

"Yes, indeed," he says. She swears that he is already disgusted by her southern twang.

"It- it's out in the yard." Loretta leads him over to the boat, Betty skipping after her.

The man wastes no time inspecting the potential buy from all sides. Meanwhile, Jack comes running up to Loretta. He lifts his arms in the air, begging for his mother to pick him up but she can hardly lift the older two children anymore. And whenever she does pick up one the other three come running.

"300, you said?" The man asks, scratching his chin as he continues to circle the boat.

"Yes. Yes, sir," Loretta says, steering Jack around by his arms.

"I gotta tell you, little lady, that's a pretty steep price for that boat."

"But my husband paid double that for it."

"Hmm. Are you trying to fool me here or is your husband fooling you?"

"What he told me is that it cost 600 dollars when he got it."

"200 is what I'll give you."

"I can't." She doesn't even give it any thought. She thinks that she's probably being generous already to give the boat away for half the price. Loretta doesn't know anything about selling things- nor does she know if Doo really did pay 600.

"Now look. You're not gonna sell this thing for 300."

"We need the money."

"Everyone needs money. Now if you Appalachians were a bit more eager to work.."

Loretta might not be the brightest, but she catches the implication and finds herself blistering over it. "It's 300," Loretta says.

Little Ernest positions himself in front of her, wielding his wooden sword. "Leave my mommy alone," he says to the man.

"Ernest, go play," Loretta begs, but he doesn't.

"200 is what I'll give you," the man says.

"I can't," Loretta repeats. "300."

"Then your not gonna sell your boat. To anyone."

Loretta hesitates, not knowing if he's telling the truth or not. She wishes that Doo was here, but then again they wouldn't be selling the boat in the first place if he were. There are two choices and each seems wrong. Part of her doesn't want to sell to someone who seems so disgusted with her and her children.

It turns out that she doesn't have to make a decision at all, because the man snorts, waves a hand and walks away with a, "Never mind. Keep your boat."

"He doesn't want it?" Betty asks. Before Loretta can answer, Ernest squeals, "I wanna keep it."

"I don't wanna hurt fishies," contributes Cissie, who never showed much interest in anything related to the boat. The boys love to fish with their father and Betty usually helps a bit while Cissie just clings to her mother and watches.

"We have to sell it cause we need money," Loretta says.

"But what is daddy gonna say?" Ernest asks while tugging on her hand. "Daddy loves his boat lots."

"Daddy won't mind," Loretta tells him.

"Daddy's gone, stupid," Betty says.

"Not true!" Ernest yells.

"Yes, it is."

"Mommy!" Ernest turns toward Loretta. "Tell her that ain't true."

The lump in Loretta's throat keeps on growing, making it hurt to swallow and seemingly impossible to speak. She finally settles for, "Mommy doesn't know, babies."

Cissie gasps. "But you know everything."

She is probably the only one of the four who still believes that. Betty always comes home from school and tells her things she wasn't even aware of, and she's only in grade school still. Loretta wishes that she knew only half as much as Cissie thinks she does.

***

No one else comes for the boat in the next few days. It makes Loretta wonder if maybe there is something to the man's words. She stands in front of the mirror in the bathroom, brushes down the hair that is starting to hang into her eyes.

She can hear the kids fighting outside. The last thing she is supposed to do right now is cut her hair, but at least it makes her feel like she is doing something other than hiding from her kids.

Loretta smooths the hair, starts cutting it to just above her eyebrows while the kids holler at each other outside. The door swings open just as she'd in the middle of it, causing her to slip.

"Ernest," she hisses upon seeing the boy standing there with his beloved sword. "Look at what you made your mommy do."

"What didya do?" Ernest asks with great interest, his head cocked to the side. Loretta just sighs and surprisingly, he doesn't ask again.

"There's another man," Ernest says. "I told him he can't have our boat."

"Why, Ernest Ray. You run out there and tell him that your mommy said otherwise. And tell him that I'm comin' too."

"She's coming!" Ernest screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Go to the door and tell him there," Loretta demands. "But don't you let him in," she adds as Ernest dashes off. Hopefully the other children didn't yet decide to allow a stranger into the home. She examines the damage she has done to her hair, figures that she has no other choice but to cut the rest off. She does it as quickly as she can, silently tells herself that no, she doesn't look that bad.

"Mommy!" Betty yells. "That man says that he's our grandpa." The next thing she hears is the slamming of the door. Once Loretta appears Betty proudly states, "I didn't let him in."

Loretta bypasses the kids congregating by the door and throws it open- to reveal her father. "Daddy?" she squeaks.