Love Is Where You Find It

Part 11

Loretta keeps on thinking about what Henry said. About the song she was supposed to be writing. The lyrics keep dancing around her mind but she can't for the life of her finish it. She doesn't have the time or the opportunity. The house is too loud and she has too many children wanting her attention.

On Saturday, something overcomes her and she takes Jack and Ernest fishing. Donald is out with his friends and none of the girls want to come. She asks her daddy, but he strokes Betty Sue's hair and says that he'll stay with the girls, his head is kind of hurting anyway. She worries about those headaches he gets, because he isn't supposed to now that he's not in the mines. Maybe it wasn't really the coal mines that gave him those headaches at all. Loretta has never been in a coal mine and she already gets them too.

The weather is getting better now, the boys are somewhere between too hot and comfortable in their sweaters.

Ernest Ray starts rolling up his jeans. Once she realizes what he is doing, she points a finger at him. "None of that, Ernest Ray. It's too cold for that still. We was gonna fish, not get in the water."

And fish they do. Loretta marvels at how good her boys are at it already, probably better than she is. A lump forms in her throat when she remembers that it was Doo who taught them how to fish like that. There are a lot of things he would have to teach them still because she can't. She can't put that on her daddy either, he did that four times with his own boys and he isn't a young man anymore.

They catch two fish, one of them quite big. A good dinner. The boys aren't quite ready to go yet, so she lets them run around to get rid of their access energy. Loretta watches them, glad to see her children's happiness. The move, the new school, living with her parents and having to adjust to their mother working somewhere where she can't bring them along every time is hard for them. Sometimes they're so contrary that it drives her up the walls. It's embarrassing in front of her mommy, because her mommy seems to have it all together. Loretta wants to be like that too.

Jack and Ernest's happy screeches float through the air. The water in front of her is still but it feels like its whispering to her. Loretta hums to herself. A new song, not the one Henry told her to write down.

Seemingly out of nowhere, the heavens open up and unleash a downpour of cold rain on them. Loretta finds herself soaked within less than a minute. They run all the way home, Jack and Ernest laughing and squealing the entire time. When they get there, her daddy keeps Cissie from jumping her soaked form and she runs Jack and Ernest a warm bath. She then chases the boys away to get herself cleaned up. Loretta squeezes water out of her long hair with a towel and wishes that she had a hair dryer. Her eyes land on the counter. She is confused by the presence of pen and paper. Heaving herself up, Loretta drops the towel and picks up the objects with a frown.

And then, leaning up against the toilet, she writes the song in her head while her hair dries. Somehow she gets through it without anyone demanding to go to the bathroom. Loretta moves on to the other song, the one she made up at the diner. She writes down the lines already in her head. Somehow she finds herself in a creative state unlike anything she has ever experienced. She grabs another sheet, rearranges new lines along with what has been in her head for weeks.

Loretta stands up and examines her hair in the mirror. There is no more evidence of the mess she made of it the day her daddy came to Washington. She didn't have any time to worry about it and she finds that it's exactly how she wanted it in the first place now. That's how much time passed, how long they have already been here. It'll be her birthday soon, and Ernest and Cissie's too. They will be six and five respectively. Loretta grabs her songs, placing the rest of the paper and the pen where she found it.

The next day, Loretta carries the lyrics to work. But when it comes to actually showing Henry she finds herself ashamed rather than proud of her accomplishments.