Love Is Where You Find It

Part 10

"Do you have to go to work?" Cissie whimpers. Her arms are locked around Loretta's neck and she clings on tightly.

"Yes, baby, I do," Loretta says. "If mommy don't go to work we won't ever get a house of our own."

"But I don't want one."

She is the only one who doesn't. Loretta sees Ernest and Brenda pinching at each other in the corner of her eyes. "Ernest Ray, Brenda Gail..." she warns.

"Never gonna end, is it?" Her mother complains. She grabs Brenda by the arm and steers her away. "I said to get away from him when he starts hitting."

Loretta swallows her irritation. There is no way her mother could have seen who started, but it's Ernest by default in her mind.

"When are we gonna leave then?" Betty Sue whines.

By now they moved her girls in with her sisters, the boys with Donald. Needless to say Donald doesn't appreciate sharing his closet sized bedroom with Jack Benny and Ernest Ray and the girls room is overcrowded with five to a room.

Loretta makes twenty five dollars every week. Henry says that it'll be more later, that Norman starts everyone on low wages. She gives fifteen to her parents, the ten that leaves her with she wants to save but so far she never did manage to save the whole sum. Jack Benny needed shoes and both the older kids needed things for school.

Cissie cuddles into the crook of Loretta's neck and demands, "I wanna go with you."

"To that boring old diner?"

"Yes!" Cissie insists. "I do."

"But you'll have yourself more fun here."

"But I wanna be with you," Cissie drags out.

"Mommy," Jack says, "What kinda food you got at the diner? Is it good?"

"I can bring the young'uns over to see you when they get outta school," her father suggests.

Before Loretta can say a word about it, her mother shuts him down. "We can't afford to eat someplace like that, Ted. We can't afford to eat at home."

"Not to eat there, to see their mommy at work."

Loretta's not quite sure if that would be such a good idea. Norman wouldn't be too pleased but she could take her break around that time, just to catch up with them for a few minutes.

"I wanna eat there," Brenda thrills. "I love fries."

"Fries ain't good," Clara says in response. "They put em in old fat in a deep frier. Old fat that they leave in there for weeks."

Loretta cringes, because she already learned that this is true. She would give her kids a few fries though if that made them happy. There is so little she can give to them already.

"Maybe not today," Loretta says to her father. "I ain't been there too long-" She trails off, winches when Cissie accidentally rips at her hair.

Betty Sue tucks at her skirt and asks, "Can I take somethin' to eat for school?"

Loretta sighs. Her oldest daughter is the pickiest of the children and she doesn't like any of the food offered at the school. But she can't let just one child take a packed lunch when there are so many of them. Packed lunches cost money and the school lunches are free for certain low income kids now. Her mommy and daddy won't take handouts, but she put Betty and Jack on the list out of mere desperation. Just for a while, until they can move out. Every penny saved whichever way is precious.

Betty whines, "I get hungry."

Loretta's stomach churns with guilt. She herself never had any lunch at school. They ate breakfast, snacked on a sweet potato or two after school before it was time to eat supper.