Love Is Where You Find It

Part 20

That night, Loretta tosses and turns in bed, drifting in and out of sleep as her mind runs a mile a minute. She liked the kiss- of course she liked it. But she doesn't like the possible implications of it.

Henry is only the second man she kissed, the first being someone she married a mere four weeks later. She's not ready to do that again. Henry, or any other man, wouldn't marry her anyhow, not with the four children from her first marriage serving as a constant reminder that they aren't really a family.

It's not just that she doesn't want more children (although she doesn't), it's that she can't. When she had Cissie they told her that there is something wrong with her blood and she is to never have another baby again.

Men want their own babies and she can't give that.

The next day it's a rush of getting the kids dressed and on the bus while barely able to keep on her feet.

When Loretta arrives at work, Henry is waiting for her. Loretta assembles a blinding smile for him, a smile that falters when he says, "Morning, sweetheart."

"You can't call me that here," Loretta protests. "What if someone hears?"

"What would happen then?"

"What if your daddy fires me for it?"

Henry laughs, as if this is the most ridiculous thing she has ever said. "He can't fire you because I kissed you. And you say that you were glad I did."

"I was glad you done it. I was. But I didn't - if you wanted to have a baby, I ain't allowed to ever have one again."

Henry raises a brow. "Bit early to think of that anyway, ain't it?"

"Yes. But you should know-"

"And now I do know." Henry takes her by the hand, and she isn't sure if she should clutch it or pull away. "You think that I can take you out again soon?"

"Honey, I don't got a sitter and I can't leave em alone yet. Not even when they're asleep."

"I could come over to your place when they're asleep, bring over some food. We can go down to the church on Sunday."

They reached the back room by now, and Loretta gets her things settled in her locker. "I never said that I was gonna do that. I asked about youth group for the kids."

"It's on Wednesdays, sweetheart."

The door swings open and Norman bustles in. "What are you two doin'?"

"I'm gonna go to work," Loretta says, not wasting any time rushing out to do so.

Howard is already there, ready to order his daily coffee. Loretta is determined for it to be a regular work day, and in the end it is. She gets the kids from her parents' after school and makes sure that Betty Sue, Jack Benny and Ernest Ray do all of their homework.

She might not have had much education herself, but that's not what she wants for her little ones.

Betty Sue and Ernest are scribbling in their workbooks, Cissie is drawing and Jack Benny is reading to her from a book his teacher has given him. He stumbles over words, his frustration obvious.

"You're doin' fine, baby," Loretta encourages. "You keep it up. I'm listenin'."

"He reads bad," Cissie proclaims.

"It ain't that easy," Loretta tells her. "You'll see when you learn for real."

The doorbell chimes, making Loretta cringe. "One moment," she says, getting to her feet. Her hand skims over Jack's head on the way out. She opens the door without checking who it is, coming face to face with a middle aged woman. Before she can get too confused, she spots Henry behind her. Loretta's eyes move toward him, silently asking what this is all about.