Find me

14.

I was slightly at unease the rest of the day as Neymar had been trying to catch my attention a little more than usual. He did not stop talking for one second when I was helping him rehabilitate his foot. He just looked so much more joyous and cheery and talkative. 

I had a duty with Marc Bartra to guide his routine in the gym  and I was a bit concerned about Neymar finding out because apparently he hadn't been keen on the idea of me affiliating with Marc in any sort of way.

And then this happened.

"Do you mind if I ask you out?" Said Marc out of nowhere when I was keeping track of his treading time whilst sitting on the floor near the treadmill. The device in my hand legit fell out of it because I lost my nerve impulse for just about a second. 

He looked at me, when I didn't say anything back and he stopped running and jumped off the treadmill.

"Too spontaneous?" He asked as he sat down cross-legged directly across from me.

I had no idea what to say. Now, I'm not gonna lie, the thought of Neymar did cross my mind. But I was more influenced by my own thinking when I established that I didn't want to do it. "Marc, I hope I'm not sounding mean but I'm trying to just focus on my work, right now." I said.

"That's okay but a little break is necessary sometimes."

"I don't know, Marc. I don't like 'out'."

"Then we can just stay home and have a relaxed time. Watch a movie, order some pizza."

That did sound slightly welcoming and I wanted to say yes but I was reluctant.  

I did not wanna do that.

But I did. Conflict.

"Umm...I don't know."I said and just hung my head down hoping the ground would just swallow me somehow. He looked at me a bit carefully and asked, "Are you okay?"

I said, "Yeah." "I'm fine." I couldn't meet his eyes though. It just pains me to turn someone down like that.

"That's okay. But is there something bothering you? You seem a bit down sometimes."

I couldn't believe he had caught up on that. I had tried my very best to act normal for the sake of Neymar since the past few days. "That's just how I am. Not always cheery." I defended.

He nodded slightly but I'm sure he wasn't convinced. "Alright then. Just so you know, my offer still stands. Just let me know whenever you feel like hanging out or chilling with a friend." he said while getting up.

"Thanks." 

He just plainly walked out of the room and he did leave behind a trail of disappointment. It made me feel really horrible. But also relieved in some sick sort of way. 

About ten seconds later, Neymar walked in. I hadn't moved an inch since Marc had left. Neymar came right upto me and held out his hand. I looked up at him and the look in his eyes warned me to not push his buttons. I reluctantly took his hand and he pulled me up from the floor.

A little harshly.

"you okay?" He asked, his voice was as low as a grumble and his breath was hitting the bridge of my nose because he was way too close to me.

"I'm fine." I said yet again.

"Did he say something to you?" 

It was none of his business really. But Neymar being Neymar had to stick his nose all up in my business. It was more than annoying but somewhere I almost liked it too. I don't know why. Anyway, I had no idea what to say. I could've just said no but I maintained a silence that surprised me even.

I felt a jerk to my back. It caught me by surprise. Neymar had pushed me further close to him as if it were possible to get any closer. He was making me anxious just to get dominance over me in order to get me to say what he expected to hear. I'm not gonna lie, it was working a little.

"What's your problem?" I spat the words in his face because I was annoyed by his actions.

"Answer my question." 

"No." 

Neymar didn't let go at all. He just kept looking at me. "No, you won't answer my question or no, he didn't say anything?"

"Latter." I was suddenly into one word answers because of the uncomfortable spacing between me and a human. I almost thought I was breathing but no.

"You're lying." He whispered viciously.
I could almost feel the familiar body heat that had once suffocated me in the middle of my silent screams in a tiny space.

I fidgeted to somehow escape but it didn't work. My heart started assaulting my ribs and I hadn't breathed in for quite a long time. His free hand that wasn't holding me put, motioned upwards. I anticipated the potential of that movement.
I could almost hear the fabric of my shirt being ripped off into shreds, leaving my bare skin vulnerable to the assault of the cold air and another kind of assault.

I almost felt the sting of skin against skin that somehow would birth blue patches on my wrists and shoulders and neck and....

I hadn't zoned in enough to hear the initial horror of my scream but I heard a second of it before a hand silenced it. My panic rose.

I needed to breathe but I couldn't. There was a stale wetness on my face and things were blurred.

It felt like I was trapped in translucent glass and there was no way out. Every second felt like an hour.

When I came back to this world, I felt a coldness against my back. The second my vision started telling me the truth, I saw those deceptive orbs looking down at me. My heart was refraining to panic due to a reason.
I caught the emotion in those eyes and I calmed down by 10 heartbeats.

"Oh my god. Oh my god." Thats what I heard.
In a short instant, I remembered that I needed to breathe. I sucked in a gulp of air and then started breathing a bit raggedly.

"Mira." He whispered a bit nervously.

"Don't." The last thing I wanted was a human voice in my boiling ears.

"I- I don't know..I didn't mea-"

"No." I said a bit assertively.

I took the next 10 second silence to realize that my clothes were fine, my skin was bruise-wise untouched and the pain was only in my mind.

"You okay?" He asked, his palm constantly in contact with my forehead.

"Yes." I replied.

"Really?" He didn't believe a syllable, I could tell.

"I just-I wanna go home." I said whilst attempting to sit up. How and when he had managed to put me down was beyond my memory.

"Don't exert. Just stay still." He said while holding me in place. I managed to struggle out of his hold and get back up because his grip was quite vulnerable on me this time. I could sense he was scared.

"I said I wanna go home." I repeated and stood upright testing my balance for a second. Next thing I know, I darted out of the room, with a Neymar at my tail.

***