Find me

19.

I could never tell what came over me but I was scared beyond my wits. Later, I would find out that it was my brain playing tricks with me and I wasn't equipped to control it. My vision portrayed a horrific experience of someone hurting me. Neymar was right in front of me and I only envisioned him choking the life out of me. 

My danger alarm was beeping and my body was trying to react but it felt weighed down by his weight. I gasped for air but I wasn't getting it. Slowly, everything started fading out and I could feel less and less by the second. I was heading to a blackout and I was waiting for it desperately.

He told me I was out for less than ten seconds but I remember waking up with a jolt. As if I was struck by lightening. Everything was back to normal and I didn't feel like I had gone through something physically horrifying. 

"Mira?" he called over and over again.

I only turned my gaze to him after I was fully out of shock.

I didn't want to be touched and my hand smacked his away the second it made contact. But he was stubborn and grabbed my hand forcing down my attempts to smack it away. I let it be after sometime.

"Home." It was all I could say. I really wanted to go home. Even though it was the least nice, I was million times more comfortable on my hard bed among trashy walls. He gave up after this and did drive me all the way back home. 

I felt better and better as I saw familiar walls and loneliness.

There was a subconscious conversation between us and he left me alone for a couple of days. Not completely, he came in every evening to drop something off and left within a half hour or so. I did go to work side by side even though I felt sick. It gave me a reason to get out and it was really needed.

One day, my brother Eduardo made an appearance.

"What are you doing here?" I had asked him.

"I'm on a business trip and I'm using it as an excuse to see you." he told me. He was formal at first and quite distant. But something sparked in me and I hugged him like I hadn't ever before. I didn't want to seem like I was worse off but it kind of leaked through my shadow. 

He did hold me dearly for as long as I needed and I felt a little bit at ease.

"Come with me for a while." He suggested but all I could think of was my job. I couldn't take a leave. I told him and he surprised me when he said, "Leave your job. I'd like you to come live with me if you're not going back home."  I was at a point where I heavily considered actually going through with it.

I liked my job but I was miserable for so many reasons. 

It was such a turn in my life that I was communicating with Eduardo so positively. We were never close but for the first time he had shown care for me. I couldn't believe that he was ready to take me in and support me. This had only happened since I came here.

"I don't know." I said. It was conflicting. I wanted security as much as I wished for independence.

He didn't say much for convincing me and said, "Well, the offer stands if you change your mind." 

"But will you allow me to atleast stay here for my trips?" I thought it was a dangerous idea but I was quite vulnerable."I'd like that." I said. But I wasn't in much of a position to feed him and I told him. 

"But I am in a position to feed both of us."

Fortunately my apartment had a smaller room which was supposed to be like a study or something. Eduardo had it converted into a spare bedroom. For some reason, I let him spend on me which did surprise me as I used to have an ego. 

Anyways, the next thing I needed to do was keep Neymar away from my house which I knew wasn't going to be easy given his stubborn nature. "But why?" The biggest frown formed on his face when I told him at training. I tried not telling him but he wouldn't budge. So I told him about my brother being here. "Does he not know anything?" he asked away, his aura dimming down a bit. I knew what he was intending to ask and he was a bit uneasy at the moment. "No, he doesn't." I assured him. 

"But I have to see you." He acted like I was taking away something nontrivial. Which made me feel a little less lonely. "We see each other here." I reminded him.

"But its not the same." 

"Just a few days Ne-." 

Just then a ball came flying from the centre of the field and hit Neymar in his back. He would have been fine if he weren't injured. The impulse made him go on the ground instantly. "Oh my god. How much does it hurt?" I asked while helping him lay on his stomach rather than his back.

"I'm fine. I just need to lie down for a bit." 

"Oh my god Neymar."

"I am so sorry."

"Are you okay?"

His teammates came rushing to him and surrounded him. Soon after, they helped him get into the locker rooms. He just looked at me once before going through the door and that was it.

 I left immediately after signalling Eric to go in after him.

***