Find me

2.

All I wanted was space. All I needed was to be by myself for just a little bit. So I could mentally and psychologically persuade myself to buck up and face this world while I live in it. Just a little refuelling in the pit before getting back on the road. A little silent periodic pep-talk before the stage.

I don't know if its destiny or fate or luck or whatever, a significant amount of people have to get through life, not go through it. 'Struggle' emotionally and physically. 'Suffer' emotionally and physically.

I don't say that its easier for the other half of human population. Its just that some people have to suffer the storm a bit more than their fellow passengers on the boat.

All need a bit of escape. Being alone for a while quietly enabled me to get my sh*t together and be less self-damaging than I am.

"So, you're new here?" His voice cut through my thoughts like a knife. It was a glorious fact that this really celebrated hunk-of-an-athlete was talking to me and people would kill to be in my place.

But, wrong time.

This was supposed to be my time, my secret escape, getaway.

My purpose was defeated. I wish I had chosen a less exposed pathway to arrive here. I guess I was too happy for the little free time I got that I forgot 'how to be invisible'.

"Seems like it." I said.

It was a job that had brought me there. I had recently completed a diploma in physiotherapy after graduating high school with a creative combination of subjects.

I had always wanted to go to business school. So I took up Business, Economics and Pychology alongwith P.E. and Human Biology  in sixth form.

I hoped to get admission in business bachelor's and so I was currently preparing for the entrance exam of an integrated program.

But there is this thing called 'survival' which encouraged me towards the medical side of things and a week ago, I had started out as an assistant in the physio department of this football club.

They said it was physio but it really is more of an enriched job. One thing I've learnt in this past week is that its all about the players especially players like one who was sitting beside me right then.

Neymar. He was not just a part of the starting eleven. He was an important piece of the game. Much more privileged and highly nurtured here at Camp Nou, one of the greatest platforms to celebrate the glorious game of Spanish football.

"You wanna get down?" He asked.

No. I never wanted to get down. Just stay there forever.

"I don't know." I just looked around secretly wishing he would get the hint and maybe leave.

Instead, he just nodded and started fiddling with his sweats until he produced a phone out of it. "Mind if I take a picture with you?"

I was a bit taken aback. A photograph?
He seemed to have read my expressions. "Its just that this place, the lighting, is just too perfect to not instagram."

A social media geek.

"Then take a picture of the view. Not me." I said.

"How about you, me and the view?"

Stubborn.

"No." I said a bit more assertively.

"Come on, the view won't be that beautiful if you're not in it."

If my haemoglobin had been healthy, my incessant blushing would've shown.

No matter how much I hated cassanova guts, I couldn't resist being intimidated by the charm.
That was the exact mistake I had made with Damien and yet my body didn't learn the lessons my mind did.