We pull up into Megan’s driveway. It’s a beautiful day and the girls are sitting against the garage. We walk up to them as they stand to walk to us. Re looks really upset and she swallows hard when Noah grabs my waist and intertwines my fingers with his.
I hug her. “Hey bub, how are you?” I ask. She doesn’t hug me as tight as she usually would.
“I’m ok.” But she doesn’t smile, doesn’t ask how I am, nothing. “Can we talk?” It was only now that my smile and good mood disappeared completely. A pain shoots up my spine and my legs grow weak. Renee never gets upset. Noah tightens his grip on me for what I assume is an attempt for reassurance.
“Uh, um, ok. What’s happened?” I stutter. She looks to Noah. I turn around to face him with my arms around his waist. “Oh, um, Noah I’ll be right back.” He nods.
Renee leads me away from Megan and Noah.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“It’s Rhys.” It feels like those two words take forever to come out. My heart stops before racing, my stomach drops, and my breathing becomes short.
“What wrong with Rhys?” I say just above a whisper.
She lets out a sigh. “He’s coming here.”
“Why?” I say sternly.
“To come see you.” She hangs her head. “To tell you how he feels.”
“Ray, we’ve been through this. He doesn’t have feelings for me.”
“They why did he text me this?” She pulls out her phone and shows me a text.
Hey, I know it was yours and Mia’s two weeks together, but she’s in Melbourne city by herself for a few days. Can you please give me the address? Don’t tell her I’m coming it’s going to be a surprise.
“Son of a -.”
“Mia before you finish that, there’s another one.” I look at her phone again.
I’m finally going to tell her I love her.
I honestly forget how to breathe. I don’t move, I just stand there. I fall to my feet unable to support myself anymore. Noah must have been watching, because he is at my side within a heartbeat with his arms around me. I have a headache and I can’t think properly.
“It’s alright babe.” He strokes my hair. “What happened?” He asks Renee.
I’m not crying, but I’m upset. Rhys? Rhys loves me? I push Noah off me and get up running into the house. “I need a minute.” Noah tries to follow me, but I tell him no. I can’t face him right now.
Renee follows me into Megan’s room, where I bury my head in my hands. I can’t help the tears that are now flowing down my face.
“Ray, I’m so sorry.” I cry.
Renee rubs my back. “Mi, it’s ok. It’s not your fault and it’s not his either. You can’t help who you fall in love with.” There’s a slight break of hurt in her voice.
“I know, but I still feel guilty." I pause and take a breath, “I didn’t tell Rhys that I stayed with Noah or that I’m with Noah.” I hang my head and she creates a small distance between us.
“But you called him yesterday, I can’t believe you didn’t tell him! Why wouldn’t you? You’re going to crush him. Mia, he’s been all about you since 3rd grade. Why else do you thing I never tried anything on him, or he hasn’t pulled anything on me. Surely, you should’ve seen that.”
I drop my lower jaw and stare at her in shock. I love Renee, but I’ll admit, she is a little stuck up. Basically, what she is implying is that Rhys didn’t hit on her because of me. Well maybe, she’s just not his type! I listen to my own thoughts and see exactly where this kind of thinking is going to end up.
Suddenly, my head is bombarded with thoughts of all those times, where it did make sense for Rhys to have feelings for me. Like Rhys being a virgin. I always wondered if he actually was. He always disappeared with girls in bedrooms, but until I was in grade 9, I never knew. That night, Axel was at his girlfriend’s house and Rhys said he’d stay with me the night. We sat cuddled on the couch watching scary movies and he told me about his girlfriend at the time. She had cheated on him many times and she only wanted him for one thing. He never gave it to her, yet when he called it off, she begged him to stay. He was the most popular guy in senior that year, but he was a virgin, a part of the rare minority of high school seniors. I didn’t get why he was waiting. It made sense now. Me.
I snap the thought out of my head. “I have to go.” I stand up to walk out.
“Where are you going?” Renee yells.
I don’t even turn around. “Anywhere but here! Away from you, away from Noah, away from –” I stop in my tracks unable to say the last name.
“Away from who Mia, Rhys? He’s not even here!”
I process her words as a tear escapes my eye. “Exactly.”
I grab my bags and pull out my phone. I pass Noah on the way out. He tries to reach out to me, but I push his arm away. “I’m staying in the hotel I was meant to. Call you later.”
As soon as I’m in the cab, I fall apart. A sudden hole develops in my heart. I just want Axel. I want my big brother. I miss him so much. I play with my phone contemplating to send him a message or not. I decide that I will.
Missing you heaps! Please call me xo
