Pan's Game || OUAT Fanfic || EDITED VERSION

Chapter 14; Sometimes Quiet Is Violent

"You can love someone so much... But you can never love people as much as you can miss them."

~ John Green

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A/N: I'm sorry in advance for how boring/confusing this chapter will be.

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Alice's P.O.V

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    The waterfall starts shimmering the second that sentence leaves his lips. The water ripples and a blurry image slowly appears in the water. It only takes me half a second recognize the place, it's the only place in the world —besides the library, of course— where I go to seek solitude; a wooden bridge in the forest. I stumbled across it a five winters ago, during one of my morning walks.

    I am jarred from my thoughts when I hear a familiar voice coming from the waterfall. Leaning against the rope bridge is Lewis, all dressed in black. He looks down at a small container in his hands and opens the lid, pouring out a few white beads. I squint at the "white beads" in his palm as gasp as realisation washes over me.

    It's sleeping pills.

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Lewis's P.O.V (Back In England)

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    I stare at the empty pill bottle my hand, contemplating whether I should call Will or not. I don't know why I chose to come to Alice's favorite place, it reminds me of her too much. But I suppose that's why I chose to come here. I want Alice to be my last thought before I die.

    As stupid and pathetic as it sounds, Alice was the only one who truly understood me, the only one who made me feel like I belonged somewhere. Yes, I have Will, and he's been an amazing friend, but it's not the same without Alice. She was always the one that kept us, that kept me, sane. And I don't know how I'm going to survive without her in my life.

    I've made up my mind, I'm going to do it. I'm going to join Alice, in death.

    "Lewis!" shouts a voice.

    I lower my hand, jerking up head up at the sound of my name being called.

    It's Will.

    "Lewis, don't you dare put those pills in your mouth!" he shouts, running towards me.

      "I didn't want it to come to this," I say, taking a razor out of my pocket as I turn to face him.
    "What are you talking about?" asks Will, stopping in his tracks; he's less than two metres away from me now. "You didn't want it to come to what?"
    "I wanted to have a clean death, but I guess this way is alright," I say, bringing the blade to my wrist

      "Lewis, please, let go of the razor," Will begs, his voice breaking. "I already lost Alice, I can't lose you too."

     I feel tears run down my face when he says her name. "I miss her."

    "I know, I miss her too. But suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, suicide eliminates the chances of it ever getting better," says Will, inching towards me.

      "The pain, the thoughts, the demons in my head... It's just too much for me. I don't think I can do this anymore," I whimper, my vision turning blurry. "I c-can't..."
      Will slowly takes the blade from my trembling hand "Don't give up, Lewis. It may take time, but things will get better. I promise."

    I pull back and give him a sad smile."I'm sorry."

    "Whatever for?" he asks, a wistful smile on his face.