twisted tales of nursery rhymes (#2016wattys)

humpty adrian dumpty

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty dumpry had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put humpty together again
----------------------

This is a story of eggs. No not the type that turns into a chicken or bird or even a lizard no I mean the type of egg when your out with a mate and then they decide its a good idea to get drunk as heak or that drugs are there new addiction and that smoking makes them look cool that's the type of egg that this story is about because that's the type of egg humpty Alexander dumpty was. He was never an actually egg from a bird but an idiotic drug addict with bad drinking problems and I was stuck being his friend all cus of a stupid oath. It all started when I met him the dashing young man know in our town as humpty dumpty he was picture perfect like a model or movie star had the looks the charm and all that's shiat I was a young dumb girl with a major ass crush and an antisocial awkwardness to prevent me from I'm getting the guy. Then one day it all went south I majorly fucked it all up ... or so I thought.... as I was walking home from school I was looking down at the ground when I tripped over a tree root as I flew through the air waiting for the inevitable face plant to come I squeal in a mix of shock and disappointment. But the ground never reached me as I had landed on top of something. .. or someone. .. that's right like straight outta cliche move I had landed on humpty. "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to do that hear let me help you up" I said in a panicked tone and that's how we meet he had just laughed and told me "chill baby girl it's all goods your a cutie pie wanna hang?" Me begin guilty as heak for knocking him down kindly agreed while turning a hole range or tomato while helping him stand as I thought about him calling me his babe and a cutie pie. This was mistake one. Letting my guard down and my heart open up to someone because of there looks.
Mistake two came immediately after when I nodded with a quite "I would love to hang with you humpty I love you" not only had I said I loved him like the dweeb I was but I accepted his invitation to hang which I didn't know had meant at the time that he was inviting me back to his place for drugs and booze. Mistake three accepting the drink. Soon after the first he got me to have another and another and eventually after about ten he had me drunk as a sailor and was offering drugs I being pissed out of my mind for the first time in my life had know idea what I was doing and so gladly accepted and whilst we sat in his room smoking weed and drinking to our hearts content I made  my fifth and final mistake of the night. I told him while completely high and drunk " humpty Alexander dumpty I fucking love you be my boyfriend and kiss me" I had hiccuped  out as I lay on his bare chest on his bed he smirked "oh babe of course I will. Let's make an oath babe to love each other forever and always do everything together" he had told me in reply I nodded think in it was a great idea at the time my mucked up brain wasn't thinking straight it was like 'yup you only just properly meet the guy and making an oath is a good idea and won't get you killed at all' so like and normal drunk high teen I kissed him and giggled like a fucking pig in mud and slop and slurred a playful "let's do this suit!" Before passing out. I woke up with a level ten migraine and vomit in my hair I look around to find that I had know memory of the night and that my wrist had a small cut on it. "Oh babe your awake all chill" I had Hurd humpty say behind me I swept round which was a terrible idea with the migraine from my hangover "what happened?" I asked confused and scared " we did a blood oath so now we must do everything together your moving in tomorrow and tonight your staying in my room with me" he shrugged like we just got married and it was normal. I gapped at him and eventually stood slowly "you let me do that while I was drunk and couldn't think the consciences through you dick" I had growled he had laughed at me I return " uh duh if you were sober you would have said no and my little babe would have never talked to me again" he had told me I glare and spit at him"I am noones little babe but my parents so buck of Casanova and go jump of a bridge" I had sourly hissed he smirked "if I do you would have to follow we made an oath babe your basically bound to me" he smirked triumphantly ashe told me I huffedat him and snarled "then I'm taking you with me to the grave!" I proposed as I made my final mistake . I opened the window and climbed out standing on the brick wall acting as a fence between the apartment buildings I carefully walked to the middle and sat down my legs dangling over the side of the fifteen foot wall "c'Mon then babe we do everything together come on out and sit with me" I huffed smirking as he unsurely shuffled out "babe are you sure if we fall we will die?"  He had asked I nod "yeah babe we do everything together right well I want to do this" I smiled at him until he sat next to me I grined and moved to sit on top of him so I was almost grinding against him and I maliciously grin "humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty. ..." I sung kissing him "had a great fall. I would love to say see you I hell but I honestly don't want to we you at all so never mind babe"I venomously whispered before falling back pulling him with me screaming "now no one will ever be your babe but me because we made an oath remember" as we fell the ground shook and the sound of bones crunching and blood and innards plating was Hurd by both apartment buildings as humpty Alexander dumpty and I fell and cracked our heads open the last thing I saw were men and women of all ages rush from the buildings the mothers covering the children's eyes the men grimacing at the sight and with my dying breaths i wheeze out a cold and watery "humpty fucking dumpty sat on a wall!" Before I choke on my blood and the life fadded from my eyes I died with a smirk on my face glade I had made sure to let little old humpty land on the pavement first i was rather looking forward to telling them that before I died.
-------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~----------------
A/n
Sorry to all those still reading this I have only just found the time and the motivation to finish the few chapters and keep this book going I will now try updating at least once a week when I have data or WiFi. Mine is unfortunately busted at the moment and haven't a clue how to fix it ... again sorry for the overly long wait but finally a decant chapter for you to bite into and digest please vote and or leave a comment I will try to reply to all comments and I love feedback good or bad I just love comments they make me feel special.  Now I must sleep because it's past midnight at the moment and I need sleep thanks my family of ravenous readers
Ceshier-Mearkat .