20 days [l.s.]

day 16

december 19

dear louis,

it's getting closer to your birthday. i've not heard anything from you since you left. i called lottie this morning and asked her about it but she seemed to be just as clueless as me.

why are you doing this to us louis, why are you doing this to me? do you even realise how hard it is without you? the air is 100 times thicker and the sun isn't warm anymore. the cold is more bitter than pleasant. the sky isn't blue like your eyes anymore. it's dull like my soul. but well, good thing it isn't blue, it would have only reminded me of you. like this hospital gown i'm wearing is. it's blue. and all i can think of is you. it's a duller variation of your blue but it's still blue and i miss you cause i love you. so much. so so much.

p.s. so much; that now, it's starting to hurt.

h.x