20 days [l.s.]

day 20

december 23

dear louis,

i'm scared lou. i don't know anything. I don't know where to go, where to look for you. with no money and food, i don't think i can make it too long. i'm not as scared of dying as i am of not being able to see you again.

i can see a little coffee shop right across from where i'm sat. it looks warm. i'll request them to shelter me for the night.london is crazy cold. if i sleep on the roads tonight, i'm sure i won't ever see daylight.

i slept in an abandoned car last night. with the lack of even a jacket, i'm not sure about anything anymore and i'm scared. very scared.

but it's your birthday tomorrow and i want you to be happy. i'll keep trying lou, till my last breath cause i love you. so much. so so much.

h.x