20 days [l.s.]

day 7

december 10

dear louis,

you left home with most of your things this morning. you're going to london. big city, bigger opportunities. you did not even hug me when you left. it will be very difficult for me to be able to write what it felt like. i was crying very hard and you did not comfort me. i could not figure whether you were sad or not, because you held this firm expression on your face, your lips in a thin line and your blue eyes focused on something but nothing.

watching the cab leave was worse than the nightmares i get about dying. it was worse than that time when i accidentally split my chin open and i had to get stitches. worse than the pain i feel in my chest when i can't breathe. worse than all worsts cause i love you. so much. so so much.

h.x