Resume, delete, begin again | an olicity au

Chapter 11

A/N please assume that Yale is in starling city. Thanks, in with the story

It's been 2 weeks since I first went to Big Belly Burger wth Felicity. I had hanged out with her everyday since. I asked Mr Steele to change my lunch break from 11 to 2, So now our break schedules matched. We went to out sometimes, but most times I would just go to her office and we'd talk. If pick up big belly burger for the two of us, I knew her order by heart now, and we sit and eat. Id wipe my greasy fingertips on her dress, and she'd feign anger and get me back in my dress shirt. We'd talk about the most random things. Our favorite song, our memories, our fears and how we thought the earth  was made. Our talks got deeper. I told her about Sara, she told me about her father I laughed a lot these days. One day I even brought her to see the stars.

It was late and I was sitting at my computer, my eyes sick of the screen. I had been reading the same section over and over and still no information was processed. I had looked at my watch and it was 12:00 am. I was so bored and then all of a sudden this urge to do something spontaneous rushed through My body. She was the first person I wanted to call, so I did. She picked up groggily asking why the hell I was calling at midnight on a Tuesday. All I said was "do you want to see the stars with me" she was pretty confused at first but I told her my situation and she reluctantly agreed complaining about how warm and comfy her bed was.

I picked her up at her house soon after And she walked out, her hair out up in a messy bun, and she didn't have a single drop of lipstick. The absence of her high pony tail made her look so different, but a good kind of different. She was the type of girl you didn't think could become any more beautiful, but then you see her at 12am with bed hair with bags under her Eyes, and she becomes more Beautiful than ever. She was wearing purple pajama pants and a large MIT sweatshirt with fluffy bunny slippers and she was rubbing her eyes.
"This better be worth it" she had said and I promised her it would be. We drove for about thirty minutes, getting out of the perimeter of the city. And then I brought her to my favorite place in the world. This was the place I would go when I just wanted to be left alone. I spent a Lot of time here after Sara's death, and I wanted to share this amazing landscape with her.
"What are doing in an empty field?" She had said when we got out of the car and had appeared to be standing in an empty field with dry grass and a forest on the other side. All you could hear was the water going down stream, and a few birds chirping.
"Not so empty" I had replied pointing up at the vast sky where stars littered the dark night. She had gasped in astonishment, and on the top of my car we had lay, for hours staring at the stars talking about whatever came to mind. She found out my favorite kind of candy were peanut M and M's and for some reason I found out that she built her first computer by the time she was 7.
She ended up falling asleep in my arms at 2:30am, so I carried her to the car, and drove her home. She had a spare key in a potted plant, and I carried her upstairs to her room and I tucked her in. For a second I watched her sleep, she looked so peaceful. But I realized I was acting like Edward Cullen, so immediately stopped. I simply planted a kiss on her forhead, and left. That night had been my favorite. And not just my favorite of the time I had with her, no, that night was my favorite. Ever. Hard to believe right? I wouldn't have believed it myself 3 months ago, that I would ever feel this way again. She had changed my life. 

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But still I felt guilty. I felt guilty about Sara. How could I not. I mean it had been less than three months and it already seemed as if I was moving on. But I swear, I'm not. I still love Sara. I still love Sara. Maybe it was a bad sign I had to remind myself of that every-time I was with Felicity though.

I didn't really have that many guy friends in starling anymore. After high school most of my friends were my football team mates. But they all got scholarships across the country, so I didn't see them too much anymore. Still, I needed to talk to someone about Sara, someone who could help me sort out my feelings. So, I just went to the one person that came to mind. John. John Diggle. My co worker, at Palmer Law.

I got up, left my office, and walked over to his.

"John, hi.." I said awkwardly, knocking on his office door.
"Oliver...hi what going on man? How's life these days?" He replied. "Come in". I entered his office, it was neat and simple,title furniture but stack of paper all over his desk.
"I was wondering if you wanted to get some drinks tonight, cuz ummm... I have some stuff I need to deal with...and I think the booze will help me out..."
"Really man? Going to a bar on a Tuesday?" He said chuckling. I nodded at him.
"Oh you're serious." He said. "Okay. Sure, I guess. Verdant tonight at 9?" He asked.
"Yeah verdant sound good. Thanks man, I really appreciate it." I say nodding in appreciation and I walk back to my office.

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Its 845 and I am driving to verdant, the newest club in town. The music was loud, and people were dancing. I spot John at the bar, drinking alone. I walk over to him, hit my hand against my back and say,
"Hi thanks for meeting me here."

"It's no problem man. So what's the issue."

"Do you know Felicity?" I ask him getting straight to the point.

"Felicity. Felicity. Hmmmm..." He says thinking. "Oh Felicity the IT girls. Genius, blonde hair, glasses?" He asks in realization.

"That's the one" I say Smiling

"What about her?" He ask raising an eyebrow.

"So we've been hanging out for the last couple weeks..." I begin but immediately get cut off.

"Oliver Queen" he says. "Have you moved on already?" He says laughing.

"See, that's the issue. I don't know how I feel about her. And you know, I'm not someone who expresses their feeling s that well. I don't like admitting how I feel. But here it is: I love sara, I was ready to spend my entire life with her. And when she died, that was the worst day of my life. And I was a wreck for two months. You know that."

"Yeah I remember. You used to come to work at the crack of dawn and stay as late as you could, and try not to think of her. I remember hearing in your office, looking at your pictures with her in Hong Kong." He said.

"Well, 2 weeks ago I met Felicity. And she made me smile, smile like no one else had. And then we hanged out. And it just felt different all of a sudden. I started laughing, and now... Well I don't know what I feel. I just know that I don't want to be sad for the rest of my life." I say, and for the first time I actually admit to myself, and Diggle how I really feel. "And I, I don't want to like Felicity. I don't want to betray Sara... I just don't know." My feelings are spilling out, maybe it's just because the 2 shots I just took, but maybe because I wasn't sacred anymore to admit that I might like Felicity, maybe it's both.

"Oliver, the way you talk about her, it already seems that you like her. And that's okay, you don't deserve to be miserable. The way I see it you have 2 options. You can give up, delete per say, and just stop living. You can live the rest of your days mourning Sara's death, you can CHOOSE to never love again. OR you can move on. That's not to say forget, but you can resume your life, keep going. But it's only been 2 months. Remember that." He says very seriously.

I nod my head. "Thank you John" i say.
"It's Diggle, for my friends. And I think you qualify" he says winking.

"Okay...Diggle. I like it." I say smiling.