Resume, delete, begin again | an olicity au

Chapter 12

Diggles right, I think to myself. It's been 2 months. 2 fucking months. That's it. Sara was such an amazing person and she deserves me to remember her for the rest of my life. She deserves for me to not go a day with out thinking of her. I am tossing and turning in my bed, thoughts running through my mind. It's already 3am, but I can't sleep.

Diggle was also right when he said I can't just live for Sara. Sara's gone, and nothing I do will change that. Ever. And I need to accept that, or not I will never move on.

So I decide, Felicity will be just a friend...for now. I owe Sara that much, for everything she gave me. I maybe not be able to spend the rest of my life in hell, but it's only been two fucking months. There is no need to move on. Not now.

But we are supposed to meet up after work tonight and , we are going to see the me movie. It was called "the flash, the man who saved central city". I am so excited to see it, and I'm more excited to see her.

There you go again Oliver. You can't do that! I think to myself. Ugh. I need to get some sleep, seriously, I need to get all this shit off my mind, if not for a couple hours. So I get from under my covers, wipe my eyes and feel my way through my dark bedroom. I touch, the walls and my desk, until I can find my way to the bathroom. I open up the Medicine cabinet and I pop 2 sleeping pills. I find my way back to bed, and soon enough I'm dozing off.

______

It's morning and I've had a total of 3 hours of sleep, whatever. I lazily get dressed not ready to make it through the damn day. I take out 2 red bulls from the fridge, put them in my car, I'm gonna need them during the day.

The Work day goes slowly, and it feels like the clocks have stopped working and the hands are frozen. I stare up at the clock constantly to see how much time has passed, and much to my discontent it's only been 5 minutes or so since the last time I checked.

After what seems like eternity it's 7pm and j finally get off work. I had to work through my lunch break today, because I kept putting off the damn pro bono case, and that shits next week. so I didn't get to see Felicity so far today, much to my dismay. The only thought that kept me working was i will see her tonight. It was unnatural how much I liked her. Like honestly, how could a girl do this to me? But then again, Sara had put a spell on me the same way. But I'd only known Felicity for a couple weeks, but these few weeks had been some of the best in a long time.

I got into my car, my black BMW parked at the end of the lot. The traffic was miserable, as always in starling. Ugh, I sigh, as I hear honks from all the cars, telling the first damned person in line to go, and get off their phone.

The normal 15 minute drive to the AMC by my office takes double the time, so I'm there at 730.

"Look who decided to show their face" Felicity laughs, nudging my side. "I thought you were going to blow me off."

"I'm sorry there was traffic" I laugh. "And I'd never blow you off." I say putting my hands up in mock surrender

"Excuses excuses" she mocks me. Felicity looks gorgeous, at this semi formal event. It's a premier, on a Wednesday night, I know weird. But that's just the way it is here in starling. Anyway she's wearing what seems to be her work clothes, but that dress. Damn. That  fit her perfectly in all the right places.

Anyway, I fix my tie, and smile. We walk into the theatre together, I'm holding a jumbo popcorn and drink to share. We decide to sit in the very back row, and then after 15 minutes of trailers the movie is finally on.

_______

The movie was so good. And though I may not admit it to some people, I am a huge comic book nerd. Like a HUGE comic book nerd. I was super happy by the performance and the writing.

"How'd you like it?" I ask, as were walking out laughing.

"It was good! I love Barry and Caitlins relationship. Like how the most unexpected pair ended up as such a beautiful couple!" She exclaimed happily. And all of a sudden the atmosphere around us changed. The other people walking around the lobby became irrelevant. The teenagers throwing popcorn and the the little kids crying, all of it was blocked out of My mind. The moment just seemed so right. I leaned in, and put my hand on the side of the blonde IT girls face. My lips touched hers and sparks flew. I felt it again, the feeling of happiness, of bliss.

And the amazing thing was, she kissed back. And the kiss was amazing. All other thoughts vanished, my eyes closed. I opened them for maybe a second and just saw the "2" of the second theatre, or of the comer of my eyes. and diggles voice invaded my brain. "It's only been two months. Remember that." And as amazing as it was, an image if Sara's lips, Sara's face popped up. I broke the kiss, and she looked at me confusingly. A look of pure guilt was on my face, of betrayal and regret, but the thing was, I didn't regret kissing her.
"I'm. I'm. Sorry" I stammered and I ran. I left her standing there, paralyzed, and I ran to my car. I couldn't do this. I had promised myself just friends, regardless of any romantic feelings I might have for her.

The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her, but I guess I never thought Felicity could ever feel something towards me.