101 voicemails

80

"i was thinking today. even if i do get better, what has made me think you'd want me back? why would you ever want me back when you have her now? she didn't have to get better, she was already better.

but then i reminded myself that i wasn't doing this for you, that i was doing it because i wanted to get better. and then, i realised that's not true.

i mean, i guess it's partially true. i do want to get better. but i want you more. i want you to want me to get better.

i want you to come back and love me more than you did before. i want you to forget the color of her eyes, not mine. i want you to ignore her calls. i want you to tell her what you told me, that you did love her, but that you love me more.

i don't want her to go through the same hell i did, but at the same time, i do. i do want her to go through that same hell. she's the one who took you from me.

but then, i guess it's my fault you left, not hers. or maybe im blowing everything out of proportion and you're just an asshole.

no, it's most likely my fault. everything else seems to be."