Born Sinner

The sun had gone down and the beer was all gone so I decided to go back inside and sleep the rest of the pain off. I hated going inside of this house. It reminded me of the happy memories that we could not have any more. It made them seem like a bad dream. It reminded me that my mom was sick and dying and that soon we wouldn't be a happy family it'll be a broken hearted alone lost girl. As I walked into the house I heard the toilet flush and coughing afterwards. Ugh I hated seeing her like this.

"Ma are you okay" I asked as I walked into the bathroom where she was sitting on the edge of the tub

She looked up with a forced smile "Yeah I'm alright"

"You need to get back into your bed" I tried to stand her up but she wouldn't budge "Ma let's go"

She snatched her hand and shook her head "No I'm tired of laying in that bed all damn day I need to walk around and live while I can"

"Ma don't talk like that you will be alright so let's go so you can get some rest" As much as we both knew that she had a time limit on her life I had to be her back bone for once. I needed to be there for her.

"You know I lived here my whole life...never got to see the world met a dead beat ass man had kids and got stuck in the rut" She looked up at me for a moment "I don't want that for you I want you to live see the world and live while you can because your never promised a tomorrow"

I nodded "Ma I don't need to hear this right now death is the last thing on my mind right now" I lied living here it was always the first thing on your mind" She got up and walked out of the bathroom "I love you"

I waited to hear it back but I never did. I got dressed in a old big t shirt and climbed in bed. I prayed thanking God I seen this day and hoping I see another.

I woke up to the sun shining into my room making me believe that it was going go be a good day. I hope its right. The silence was killing me so I turned me on some Kendrick Lamar and got dressed for school. Kendricks Sing About Me bumped through the speakers as I pressed my hair out which was rare for me to do. I got dressed in our uniform grabbed my bus pass and was out the door.

I walked down the street and to the corner where Jermaine's apartment sat. I walked into the piss smelled building and walked up the the third floor. One rule never trust elevators in the ghetto. Once I got to his door I knocked twice and waited for him to come out.

"What's up" He closed the door behind him and lead the say down the stairs

"Hey get some good sleep"

He shook his head "Naw ma was up all night crying and looking at pictures of pops the women still ain't over that shit"

"Oh." I never really know what to say after he talks about his dad. I mean what do you say 'Yeah I don't know why she's still crying its been years ago'.

"Well on a lighter note you signing up for the talent show at school this week"

I looked at him like he was crazy "Uh no don't have time are you"

"Yeah I got my rap wrote music put to it all I need is the stage lights mic and the crowd"

I smiled "Well good luck with that"

"You know you should do it too it'll be good to get your mind off of your moms being sick and stuff for a little while"

I shrugged "Yeah I guess"

"No for real Zoee it'll be fun and never know it might be one of those kids rich white dads there looking for new talent to invest his money in"

"Right" I said as I stopped at the bus stop.

We ride two buses just to get to our rich private school. In the eighth grade we had to write essays just to get into this school with a full ride. They excepted ten kids and we were two of them.

"Aye ol boy" Jermaine and I both turned to look at the dark skinned man who was walking towards us. "You gotta minute"

"Depends on what you need" The man looked me up and down "Man I said what you need"

"I need a hit and I got a hundred dollars"

Jermain sighed "Do it look like I got drugs on me dressed like I'm going to church"

"Man please just please I need it and I got a hundred dollars"

Jermaine looked at me "I need this money my mama don't get paid until next Friday and we low on food..you know I hate to but I gotta"

I shrugged "Go but promise you'll at least come late"

"Yeah I promise" And with that Jermaine and then man walked off leaving me standing there alone