Dear Diary,
I can't get over it. He said he loved me. Did he lie to me?Can you just love somebody like that. Has he always loved me? Why am I thinking so hard about this. I miss when I didn't think about it. I miss being friends with him when we were kids. I miss the old Gabe. His state of mind was so different. What is he now? Messed up. That's what he is. I can't believe I ever let him into my fucking house. I'm so stupid.
(a/n Please know that anybody with mental disorders reading this I am not offending you. I am always here if you need to talk or rant. Basically Jennifer is only having trouble figuring all this out, she's frustrated so she's taking it out on his problems. I have mental disorders too. My mental health is terrible but it's getting so much better. Thank you.)
He killed his Dad because he yelled at him ha pathetic. I bet he killed his Mum too. He's not very smart for being a person that's not normal.
Am I crying? Is that a tear that just slipped from my eye. It is! I can't believe this. I can't believe him. I care so much about him, fuck. I do love him. How could I say such things?? I need to relax. I'll be able to visit him soon.
Soon I repeated to myself, soon.
++++++++++++TIME SKIP++++++++++++
'Windfield's mental facility'
I read the buildings sign many times. Finally I walked in through the heavy glass doors. A deep breath I didn't realize I was holding in released. I tried calming myself down by counting to ten over and over in my head again.
I was interrupted with counting by a man at the front desk.
"Hello. Who are you here for?" He seemed almost like he didn't want to be there.
"Hi uh I'm here for uh Gabe Helmy." He looked up at me wildly.
He handed me a form and told me to sign it while looking at me intensely. I walked across the waiting room and sat down to sign the information. I'd look up once in a while to see that man at the front desk stare at me and turned away quickly trying to hide the staring.
Finally I finished the paper work and turned it in.
The man told me he was in room 257C on the third floor.
I started walking towards the elevator as a small women grabbed my shoulder for support.
"Sorry dear I can't seem to find my husband have you seem him?" She asked.
"No miss I'm sorry I haven't seen him." I replied back to the older lady.
"Well, alright thanks for trying. Have a nice day now." She waved to me and walked off. I waved, and smiled back to her. She seemed nice.
"That's Miss Dawn." I heard a(n) new voice say.
"Her husband died three years ago. She's been here since her breakdown the month after he died." the stranger said.
"Wow, that's terrible. I feel so terrible. She seemed so so-"
"normal." The person cute in.
"Yea" I replied "normal."
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Don't worry there is definitely more to come. I love writing this!! Thank you for all the support and such. Christmas break has given me so much time to write and I love it.
