Colored Woman

My Sunday

Mass every Sunday since the day I was two years old I suppose it has just stuck with me until now. The priest walks along the benches preaching about God and his ways. 

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." Father Maverick quotes from a good man beyond any other, kind of like the second hand of our Lord in my eyes of course. Father Maverick pats a younger girls head with affection.

 "Martin Luther King, Jr. was a good friend, a brother to all us folk. We can be pointed out by white people and we certainly can point out white people but let us show the love God would show our very own family. No matter what their choices we must make the better one, we must show that we are not the enemies we are human just as much they are. 

Martin once said "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend." Maverick moves onto looking at a large family of 5 children and their parents. "We are all the will of God and he would want all of us to be sane and loving towards our neighbors no matter what color, no matter what insults they through at you, they must care enough to even talk to us 'Niggers'."

 I whisper my amen's and bow my head in thanks to Maverick as his enchanting eyes of Gods roll over my face onto the next man and women of our skin. "We all are beautiful creations of The Lord, Amen" An older, heavy-set women shouts her amen's with her lovely soprano voice; another man shouts amen while holding his daughter Amelia on his hip.

 I stand with my teenage sister Camille Willis, grab her hand in sisters embrace. She dips her head in prayer as 'Amen's' fill the church and the sounds zigzag off the beautiful, golden walls. 

My sister was caught by my mama with a white man named Trevor Smitthheree in her innocent pink clad bed, Mama chased Trevor out with her bright red broom she got at a party for women who were planning on buying a house. Of course Mama choose the broom instead of a vacuum or something much more useful in a house, she told me and Camille that it reminded her of Papa Rick our father who left us for a farm owner who he'd been working for. At the time only Rick Jr. and I were alive our sister Camille was on the way which was ten times worse because it wasn't like he didn't have anyone to go home to cause he had two kids, another one on the way and Mama. 

Camille looks at me with the glare of a large cat looking at their next meal, my precious little sister seemed to always know what someone was thinking. "Ronda Elizabeth Willis why are you day dreaming when you know you should have your head bowed in prayer." she whispers harshly as my hands twitch the ache to crack my fingers gnawed at my gut. "Camille, I love you to death but I don't think you have any right to question me with the things going on with you." I now bow my head in prayer and worship to my Lord. 

Camille blows out a large amount of air as I stand in prayer. I open my eyes slightly to look at how she's fairing, she doesn't look to hot. Her face is flush with sickness, being embarrassed or mad? I have no clue but she looks absolutely horrible. I open my eyes real wide now as she retches silently; nothing coming out.

 I turn with lightning speed and take her arm under my own and jog out of the mass area. When we are alone, almost to the ladies room she pulls me back with gentleness of an angel. "Ronda I think I might be pregnant, I'm scared." Camille shudders as she gags again; I quickly kick the door open and push her into the ladies room shutting the door behind us. "Camille, honey you didn't use a condom of any sort?" Ronda feels her brow crinkle with frustration.

"N-no, Trevor said I wouldn't get pregnant because my body was different and I guess I was caught up in the moment of everything. I'm so sorry sissy, please don't tell Mama she'll yell at me and make me get rid of it. Please!" My brows are not longer crinkled with frustration but anger. "Camille I told you to always have safe sex, I don't give a rats ass if Jesus told you otherwise. Trevor; excuse me Lord for saying such a thing but Trevor is a dumb ass who will use you for whatever he likes." I hold back Camille's hair as she vomits into the pearl white toilet. 

"I'm. So. Sorry." she spits out in between traveling back to the rim of the toilet to make it in. I sigh heavily and use my other hand to pat and rub her back telling her in actions I will always be there and I will always forgive her. "Camille let's go to my apartment, I'll call Mama tell her you wanted to sleep over for old times sake." Camille brings one of her hands back and squeezes letting me know she's thankful. 

After Camille has nothing left besides the unborn child in her womb we leave mass early and head to my three bedroom apartment where I have two other people renting from me, the oldest one in the house is 31-year-old Thomas Bleak and the other is 26-year-old Margo Lucci. Thinking about it now I think Margo would be a good role model for Camille even with the 11 year difference. "Ronda I'm scared, how can I not be scared?" her voice cracks as she asks me these questions that a big sister should have good answers for. "Well, we should go to the doctors see if you even are pregnant and if you are then we should tell Trevor and his family then when you feel comfortable you should tell Mama." Everything goes silent but the hum of my beat up ford that I got from a used car shop. "And if you're pregnant let me be the first to say 'Congratulations'. "I let that settle than I smile and look at her"I'm SO happy for you! I'm going to be a auntie which is a dream cometrue." Camille smiles and nods silently.