My Neighbor Fred

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I used to love my neighborhood. It was peaceful, quiet, and almost bliss. Especially the people. They were nice, very good mannered and polite. But
most importantly, they minded their own business. Everything was what I hoped it would be, until Fred Lobachevsky arrived and moved in next door.

They say he came from a foreign country, somewhere in Europe. He was coming to America to find a job or something. He had no wife, kids, or
even friends it seemed. Some say he got rid of his family, murdered 'em. An' he was coming to America so that the authorities wouldn't find him. But I decided that I would give him a chance. Rumors spread sometimes, you know?

So one day I mustered up the courage to approach his house. I brought a cake with me. I mean, come on, who doesn't like cake? I knocked on the door three times exactly. Hid doorbell was missing, or broken or something.

I waited outside for awhile. Then, I spotted him. He was up on the roof, looking down at me, giving me this cold-stone look. A deep, menacing, dark
stare. That's when I dropped the cake and I sprinted to my house. But I tripped over the curb. Then everything went black.

I woke up in a basement. I had my ankles and arms strapped (using barbed wire) to the legs of a wooden chair. Then came Fred, pushing a wheeled cart that had a tray loaded with all sorts of surgical tools and other instruments of torture. I wanted to scream, but nothing would come out of my mouth. He gave me a devilish grin, then reached for a knife from the tray. I closed my eyes, anticipating immense pain, but Fred made a fatal mistake.

There was a fresh pool of blood on the floor, probably from another one of his victims. He slipped on it, then impaled his skull on one of the surgical tools. Days later, me being on the brink of death, help finally arrived. I was freed from Fred's evil basement.

It turns out Fred was wanted for the murder of his family, and 39 other
people. He was also a cannibal, who would carve open and eat his victims organs. The police said I was very fortunate to have survived.

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